Shannon Matthews rescued!

[Kev]

I bloody knew there was something dodgy about that family (allegedly)

Yeah the whole story just gets weirder and weirder

I know they've arrested her mother now, do they think she made the whole thing up? And what for, what could they stand to gain from pretending their daughter was kidnapped?

Whole story is fucking bizarre

[X]

I'll tell you what happened .... they are thick inbred, yet oddly greedy, scum and were sat in their house watching about the Madeline McCann fund.

She thought to herself 'I'll have some of that'.

I have been told by a senior copper that the Matthews family sent a lawyer round to contact the McCann fund the very day after they reported Shannon missing.

They had better hope they don't get jail time .... because they are dead in there (as well as on their estate)

I see them getting new identities just like the Soham killer's girlfriend had to.

Shame the mother is so pig ugly she'd be recognised anywhere. I mean, I bet she even has to get her vibrator pissed!!

[X]

As a rule of thumb every dog year is about the same as 7 human years.

Which explains why Karen Matthews looks so fucking awful at the age of 32.

[X]

The Matthews family are being head-hunted for an entire series of the Jeremy Kyle Show.

So far they've been offered four packs of Lambert & Butler, six cans of Special Brew and a dog-eared copy of Razzle. Negotiations are stuck on their demands for a KFC Family Bucket; the show producers can't afford a bucket big enough for the Matthews Family.

Ocean Finance advert makers are said to be preparing a counter-offer to include a supermarket dash around Cash Converters and three Lotto scratch-cards.

[X]

Now that Shannon Matthews has been found,
Police have started issuing raffle tickets to find her dad

[X]

Pete Doherty has asked for the biggest,cheapest,dirtiest piece of crack to be delivered to his cell...the wardens brought Karen Matthews to him.

[X]

At last! This country has a family more fucked up than the royals!