Shannon Matthews rescued!

[X]

As a rule of thumb every dog year is about the same as 7 human years.

Which explains why Karen Matthews looks so fucking awful at the age of 32.

[X]

The Matthews family are being head-hunted for an entire series of the Jeremy Kyle Show.

So far they've been offered four packs of Lambert & Butler, six cans of Special Brew and a dog-eared copy of Razzle. Negotiations are stuck on their demands for a KFC Family Bucket; the show producers can't afford a bucket big enough for the Matthews Family.

Ocean Finance advert makers are said to be preparing a counter-offer to include a supermarket dash around Cash Converters and three Lotto scratch-cards.

[X]

Now that Shannon Matthews has been found,
Police have started issuing raffle tickets to find her dad

[X]

Pete Doherty has asked for the biggest,cheapest,dirtiest piece of crack to be delivered to his cell...the wardens brought Karen Matthews to him.

[X]

At last! This country has a family more fucked up than the royals!

[Master]

I get the feeling you do not like the Mathew family