On one hand I think I should just do the best talk I can and fight and if the talk isn't good that's just too bad because I wasn't given a lot of forwarning to prepare for it anyway and I should be allowed to have weekends off. Plus if I have kids one day I'm not going to be apologising for wanting to attend their weekend activities etc.

On the other hand I'm a PhD student coming to the end of my candidature and i guess I can expect to have to put some effort in to establish myself and if I don't do well the only person who really suffers is potentially me when I'm job hunting!

One one hand I could compete as a featherweight which is 57 kg and decide that I don't have to get down to 54 Kg for a change. That would make it easier to focus on my study when I'm not training.

Almost every time I fight somone from interstate they weigh in heavy without warning anyway so I have fought girls this weight and heavier before sometimes also as the less experienced one wich is highly unlikely in a local show.

On the other hand is that a slippery slope though - an excuse to be lazy and not compete in my best shape that could become a habit?

I think I've improved my technical understanding of a few things recently but too recently for it to be habitual just yet. I'm not sure my focus is a problem because I try to avoid thinking about an upcoming bout too much to avoid excessive nervousness.

Still I'm a beginner when it comes to knowing how best to mentally prepare for a bout and I have read that visualizing the competition is pretty key to doing well in many sports so perhaps I should think about it more?

Soooo still conflicted!