A guy you'd love to punch - check out the nerve of this guy...

[Mark TKO]

The Douchiest Phone Message In History

[No Contest]

Only child.

[amat]

Saw this yesterday Would love to see a picture of this douchebag

[bcollins]

Saw this yesterday Would love to see a picture of this douchebag

It's probably some guy that looks like me, only without the good sense to realize he's overweight and ugly.

[Kev]

hahaha that second message was hilarious. What an absolute freak.

I must admit though I'd kind of like to have his self confidence

[amat]

I love his demeanor, it's not some out of control rant where he says all this stuff, but he's completely calm and serious. Working on a movie script hahaha

[Fantana]

Hello, my name is Fantana. My friends call me Big Guy, Stilts (has nothing to do with rumplestiltskin) or just Fantana.

I am 5 foot 4 and 154 lbs of pure man, although I may have ballooned slightly since I was on holiday. I go on holiday quite a lot actually, I guess what I am looking for is a place to call home and the answer to the question man kind has been looking up at the stars for since the dawn of time - where do girls pee from if they have no willy? Even Little Fantana doesn't know.

I first got into truth seeking when I was little, below 5 foot. I understood there was a lot of discrimination in the world, of the worst kind, the type against me. I knew I had to arm myself to prepare for the daunting task ahead and I knew what I needed was some real information, a few pairs of heavily padded socks and some manwhiches my Mum makes me just the way I like them.

Since then I have ventured all across the internet, studying many hours of video footage on such things as aliens, reptilians, new world order and naked women trying to find out where they pee from. I have spoken with a wide variety of people on these subjects and no one can give any real conclusive evidence. Sure they can prove a lot of things, but what the hell is a urethra, where is it and why has no one heard of it?

Of course my quest has meant I have a lot of experience with women, I have even held their hand. And they knew it was me holding it too. I didn't trick them or anything. When I grow up I think I want to be married and live on a farm with ducks and chickens and dogs and we can all gather around at night and they will listen to me talk about my Fantanadventures and how I met my wife. She will probably be stuck in a cave about to be eaten by a bear, but there will be 13 ninjas waiting outside guarding the entrance. I will have to trek 23 kilometres around the mountains and take them all on in a giant Shirts off Showdwon, the likes of which have never been seen. I will then use chi to ask the bear to leave my wife to be alone. I will carry her to safety, sit her down and give her some warm milk. Finally, I will get down on my knee, look up at her with my Baby Blues and pop the question-


Where exactly does your wee come from?

Yours in manliness,

Fantana

[Von Milash]

I think I'll try this with employers and recruiters.