Will the stock market hold...or is the bubble ready to burst?

[pacfan]

Well, we got gyrations alright.

For those of you worried about the global financial crisis, I thought I'd explain exactly what will happen over the coming weeks, months and years and the eventual future financial, political and geopolitical/geostrategic consequences of current events so that you know what's coming in the years and decades ahead (not all in one post, but in this thread eventually). And there's good news! The Chairman of the Fed and the U.S. Secretary to the Treasury have now finally started to accept my advice and we're going to see the effective nationalisation of the banking system.

They don't have time to carry out their original plan as events have already overtaken it, so that's good news for US taxpayers as the initial $700 billion they recently shelled out will now be spent sensibly. The problem causing the current meltdown is that banks don't want to lend to business or themselves anymore. Nobody knows who might go bust next week so everybody is terrified to lend to everybody else. And if banks stop lending to each other and business then our largest businesses and corporations, which rely on bank lending to roll over their short-term debt, hit a cashflow wall. They have to lay off thousands of staff, who have no wages to spend, which means the overall economy slows down due to their lost spending, which creates more job losses in businesses affected by the lack of spending, which creates a vicious spiral of job losses and so on, so this is why investors are all currently running for the exits. Basically eventual mass unemployment. A Depression. And we'd all like to avoid that.

So governments are going to step in and recapitalise banks, giving them big chunks of money to plug the holes in their balance sheets caused by them buying now-worthless mortgage securities and other crap paper.

So we're going to see a part-nationalisation of the whole banking system and we may even see full nationalisation, and sooner rather than later. If asset prices continue to fall and so reducing the value of the non-crap assets on banks' balance sheets then the recapitalisation money is just throwing money into a black hole. So the eventual outcome may well be the complete nationalisation of the banking system. Then governments can order banks to lend to each other and allow the normal flow of credit creation to resume and asset prices will stablilise.

So there'll be an initial bank recapitalisation plan announced in the next few days and subsequent plans announced at strategic points afterwards, with the general idea of preparing the populations of our countries to accept the fact that the banking system is going Commie, something that will be hard to swallow in certain countries, especially countries with upcoming Presidential elections. This new plan has the working title of "The Kirkland Laing Global Financial System Rescue Plan" but this may be subject to a change before it's eventually made public. But it will happen. It is Written.


A great deal of the current meltdown is directly due to the inept and arrogant way in which the U.S. President, the Chairman of the Fed and other officials both in the US and in other countries have dealt with the crisis, especially in the way they originally arrogantly assumed that they could deal with it without first asking for and then acting on my advice. Bush made the same arrogant mistake over the invasion of Iraq and numerous other issues over the course of his presidency too.

I hate arrogance like that in a person, don't you?

Nothing much to add except to stress that they must get the credit rolling again, or else it's a sure crash...

...so apparently it has come to the point of getting the credit rolling again at all costs, even at the point of nationalising the banks - do we have the choice? I guess not. That's the most bitter pill they have to take - or more like - to bite.

[CFH]

Hmmm, maybe the guy who stands at the intersection to my university holding signs is right... Maybe the global financial crisis IS all part of the devils plan to institute a new world order by 2013.

[pacfan]

Hmmm, maybe the guy who stands at the intersection to my university holding signs is right... Maybe the global financial crisis IS all part of the devils plan to institute a new world order by 2013.

Hmmm... that's really something to think about, CFH...

...actually, I'd sort of seen it coming but I don't want to start an ugly religious discussion so I'll keep it to myself...

[CFH]

Hmmm, maybe the guy who stands at the intersection to my university holding signs is right... Maybe the global financial crisis IS all part of the devils plan to institute a new world order by 2013.

Hmmm... that's really something to think about, CFH...

...actually, I'd sort of seen it coming but I don't want to start an ugly religious discussion so I'll keep it to myself...

I actually kind of admire that crazy bastard in a way (the dude with the signs, not the devil), it takes a lot of guts to do what he's doing, even if he comes across as a total nut.

[pacfan]

How do you even go about buying stock? Do you have to talk to your banker? Or what?

And is there a certain amount of money you have to invest, or can you invest just enough so that if it goes wrong, you're not really losing that much?

Clubber, there are lot's of ways to invest in stocks, even just thru the internet. But you don't just go in there and buy them without knowing much about them. First thing first. First, you have to learn about investing in stocks. You can do that by reading some books about them or even studying some infos about them on the net.

During normal times, what people who don't know much about stocks do is to find a reputable and reliable mutual funds company and let them invest your money - they have all the expertise to do that for you. But for now, since it's not normal times these day, the best thing to do is to put your money in the bank - I'm pretty sure they're guaranteed so it's safe there...

That's what I did. I followed the advice I was given when all I really wanted to do was keep it in the bank.

I wouldn't feel so bad if it was my own money, but it was the cash I got from my mom's life insurance for my education, so I find it particularly hard to deal with atm. I'm thinking of pulling what's left out of the funds and sticking it in the bank...

Check out if the fund is in any kind of trouble, and then you can decide what's best for you. Having said that, I'd still say the bank is the safest bet for now.

Hmmm, maybe the guy who stands at the intersection to my university holding signs is right... Maybe the global financial crisis IS all part of the devils plan to institute a new world order by 2013.

Hmmm... that's really something to think about, CFH...

...actually, I'd sort of seen it coming but I don't want to start an ugly religious discussion so I'll keep it to myself...

I actually kind of admire that crazy bastard in a way (the dude with the signs, not the devil), it takes a lot of guts to do what he's doing, even if he comes across as a total nut.

I know what you mean. There are some guys or gals, despite their queerness - or because of their queerness - are fun to be with. I bet Bill Gates would make an interesting chummy, and I'm not even thinking about his zillions.

[CFH]

Clubber, there are lot's of ways to invest in stocks, even just thru the internet. But you don't just go in there and buy them without knowing much about them. First thing first. First, you have to learn about investing in stocks. You can do that by reading some books about them or even studying some infos about them on the net.

During normal times, what people who don't know much about stocks do is to find a reputable and reliable mutual funds company and let them invest your money - they have all the expertise to do that for you. But for now, since it's not normal times these day, the best thing to do is to put your money in the bank - I'm pretty sure they're guaranteed so it's safe there...

That's what I did. I followed the advice I was given when all I really wanted to do was keep it in the bank.

I wouldn't feel so bad if it was my own money, but it was the cash I got from my mom's life insurance for my education, so I find it particularly hard to deal with atm. I'm thinking of pulling what's left out of the funds and sticking it in the bank...

Check out if the fund is in any kind of trouble, and then you can decide what's best for you. Having said that, I'd still say the bank is the safest bet for now.

Hmmm... that's really something to think about, CFH...

...actually, I'd sort of seen it coming but I don't want to start an ugly religious discussion so I'll keep it to myself...

I actually kind of admire that crazy bastard in a way (the dude with the signs, not the devil), it takes a lot of guts to do what he's doing, even if he comes across as a total nut.

I know what you mean. There are some guys or gals, despite their queerness - or because of their queerness - are fun to be with. I bet Bill Gates would make an interesting chummy, and I'm not even thinking about his zillions.

Yeah, I don't know if I'd want to have a conversation with the dude with the signs, especially not in private, but he's definitely an interesting dude. He stands there for hours wearing a sandwich board sign and holding two other signs with wooden handles which he rotates around b/c they have things written on the front and the back. All about the end of the world, and the illuminati, and how this crises is the devils plan etc...

[Kirkland Laing]

And so it came to pass that hours after The Infallible One announced the Kirkland Laing Global Financial System Rescue Plan would be adopted by global leaders within a few days, U.S. Treasury chief Hank Paulson held a press conference and announced that he was implementing the KLGFSRP and details would be announced "in a few days" and European and other world leaders followed over the weekend.

And lo! The Dow has gone up 1000 points and it looks like credit markets are starting to thaw. If they continue to unfreeze it will be no exaggeration to claim that Kirkland Laing, The Infallible One, has single-handedly saved the world from global economic collapse. But you just know people like Bush, Bernanke, Paulson, Gordon Brown and other world leaders will claim the credit. Those arrogant bastards.