Personal sayings or words you live by...

[Wayne]

I don't really have one, but I hate the ones where people will just switch two words and pretend that means something. Things like, "If you fail to plan then you plan to fail." WTF I call these people "Asshole Confucius."

[killersheep]

I liken my life to stories sometimes like this one from Real Ultimate Power .net

The King's Gold/Babes

Scene 1:
In the olden days, there was this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes. These pirates decided to steal the mounds and surrounded the castle and everybody freaked, except the king who was like “Chill homies, I’ll handle this crap.”

The pirates stood outside the castle walls and were like “You think you are so cool, but guess what, you’re not. Good luck dying!” Then the king replied “Yeah right. How would you like to meet my best friends?”

Then out of nowhere there was a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills. The wailing started getting louder and louder and louder. Then out of nowhere there was this one sweet ass ninja standing on top of a huge hill. Everybody was like “Woooooooooooow!” He was wearing all black and he had this jet red guitar in his hands. Then smoke smoked over the hills like trains. But the smoke was ninjas. And the pirates saw about a billion ninjas with guitars standing on top this his huge hill. And they started to wail…

When the ninjas wailed on their guitars, the pirates started spraying diarrhea on each other and loved it. And when they wailed harder, the pirates sprayed harder. As the ninjas sauntered down the hill, the pirates’ chests and butts exploded. (They died from this.) Then the ninjas finally reached the boss pirate who was really huge. Out of nowhere the boss pirate pulled out this baby banjo and tried to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. The ninjas were like “Yeah right.” and all the billions of ninjas surrounded the boss pirate. Half of the ninjas all combined to form the biggest guitar in the universe. The other half formed the second biggest boner in the universe. Then the huge guitar pointed right at the pirate, who was like “Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” Before the pirate could even do anything, the super boner slapped against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever. The pirate exploded so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had exploded and all of his grandparents exploded along with his neighbors and people who he merely said “hello” to.

Then there was this huge concert at the castle. All the babes in the castle morphed into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sat on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughed his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.

END

-this script is so hot it could make Janet Reno open up a paint can with her ding dong.

[killersheep]

"Nothing worth doing is easy"

[Wayne]

I liken my life to stories sometimes like this one from Real Ultimate Power .net

The King's Gold/Babes

Scene 1:
In the olden days, there was this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes. These pirates decided to steal the mounds and surrounded the castle and everybody freaked, except the king who was like “Chill homies, I’ll handle this crap.”

The pirates stood outside the castle walls and were like “You think you are so cool, but guess what, you’re not. Good luck dying!” Then the king replied “Yeah right. How would you like to meet my best friends?”

Then out of nowhere there was a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills. The wailing started getting louder and louder and louder. Then out of nowhere there was this one sweet ass ninja standing on top of a huge hill. Everybody was like “Woooooooooooow!” He was wearing all black and he had this jet red guitar in his hands. Then smoke smoked over the hills like trains. But the smoke was ninjas. And the pirates saw about a billion ninjas with guitars standing on top this his huge hill. And they started to wail…

When the ninjas wailed on their guitars, the pirates started spraying diarrhea on each other and loved it. And when they wailed harder, the pirates sprayed harder. As the ninjas sauntered down the hill, the pirates’ chests and butts exploded. (They died from this.) Then the ninjas finally reached the boss pirate who was really huge. Out of nowhere the boss pirate pulled out this baby banjo and tried to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. The ninjas were like “Yeah right.” and all the billions of ninjas surrounded the boss pirate. Half of the ninjas all combined to form the biggest guitar in the universe. The other half formed the second biggest boner in the universe. Then the huge guitar pointed right at the pirate, who was like “Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” Before the pirate could even do anything, the super boner slapped against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever. The pirate exploded so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had exploded and all of his grandparents exploded along with his neighbors and people who he merely said “hello” to.

Then there was this huge concert at the castle. All the babes in the castle morphed into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sat on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughed his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.

END

-this script is so hot it could make Janet Reno open up a paint can with her ding dong.

This is from that book of ninjas. One of the funniest things I've ever read in a book. It reads like a 9 year old wrote it. I loved it.

[Andre]

Your point of power is right now.

[kingfrnk]

W W J D


What Would Jesus Do

[Salty]

Here are a few of my favourites

"There are no ordinary moments"

"Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation…is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew"

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination"

"Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what's good for you. They don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs"

"Death isn't sad. The sad thing is: most people don't live at all"

[KKisser]

"what might seem like an unmitigated disaster might turn out to be a blessing."

"always do right and you'll never go wrong."

[Bookkeeper]

You can only count on one person, yourself