I love that you are most looking forward to an obscure book for Christmas Diz, when my brother asked me what I wanted from him this year my answer was 'The Secrets of Chess Endgame Strategy' by Lars Bo Hansen and it's what I'm looking forward to most.

As for crap present's my sister buys me absolute crap every year, like the most unpractical pointless stuff in the world.

And she'll always hand it me with the preface 'I didn't know what to get you'.

I always want to go, well you've known me your entire fucking life why didn't you think to ask

Last year she bought me a plastic create your own rocket kit with I ended up giving to her 5 year old son.

The year before she gave me this awful, crappy cheap pocket sized table football game, which I gave to her 4 year old son.

The year before that she bought this disgusting black liquid soap that looked like mud in a containter because she 'knew I was into face and body care products'. Yes exactly I'm into products that make me feel good, so why the hell would I smear this stinking sludge over myself?