Got good news today, but still have to go for the MRI. Finally making some headway on the back pain and been told by him after latest consult my reactions were good, and not that of a herniation. What he has been guaging in me is leg weakness and likely other things. I had quite a bit of weakness in my left leg in comparison to my right. This was the thing that most troubled him. But it seems to have corrected itself some and likely will more as we continue treatments.

I've had this recurring pain and injury for more then 2 years and it forever flares up. Haven't been or fought pain free for a long time.

This is also the longest I've ever gone without working out. Without doing anything. It is something I struggle with, maybe much like a person with an eating disorder or something. It is hard to get my head around the feeling I am losing out when not training, or stunting my growth in the sport somehow. But I know in a practical sense this isn't true. That the body requires the rest, and forever training and fighting when injured if anything may be holding me back some. It's something I am comin to terms with, tryin to better understand.

I think I am on the right path tho. Won't be strapping on for even sparring or anything until he says I can, and will do as told for a change and not cheat a workout here and there as I often do. It's all a learning process. Often of self.