After all this I'm not sure,are you married to har or is she your girlfriend ICB?Do you love her or is obligation to child keeping you in this .Either way ,if ya don't love her end it.Again if first sign of temptation this early on it won't be the last,may sound simplistic but think about it before child starts registering and building memories of bad situations,fights sure to witness.Are you sure she's not having her own temptations?Don't torture yourself as temptation is normal but be prepared to face it on her end as well.

I'll go off the reservation on the dream issue.I do think dreams allow the sub consious to pin point some things we are unwilling or unable to face in an aware state.At the risk of fegging it up I dreampt about the same girl for more than 20 years,and I mean literally not some rainbow dancing in a field stuff.Now you can say your simply remembering and reconstructing scenarios with dreams like that and I do believe it was a blend but would see this person as a woman,very specific and come to find out it was very accurate.You know,this is a whole nother topic.