What get's your goat? What makes you rant?

[ono]

1: People who hold doors open for you when you're too far away from them, so you have to run a little bit and then fucking thank them, for making you run like a pillock.



10: Wankers who use any excuse to get their i-phone out. Was at the cinema last week and some wanker in front of me wanted to know what time 'The Social Network' started. Instead of looking at the fucking board like everyone else, he declared he was going to look on his i-phone as he has an app for it. What a twat.

15: Call centres. What is the point? Seriously. In the very odd event that i actually get somewhere close to being where i should be, i feel like buying them a medal or a trophy. That's how much they have lowered my expectations, by putting me through to Grounds Keeper Willy when i want to cancel my Sky account, or by telling me they've put a note on the system before passing me onto somebody else who tells me there's no note on the system. No worries, i'll just explain everything all over for the 4th time. And then when you tell me i've got the wrong department, you'll kindly cut me off whilst 'attempting' to put me through to the right one.

These are my favorites, especially the app ones. People do it for fucking everything. To that same point, people who try to play a song for you over their phone. They just hold it up for you to lean in and you can't really listen because you have a dude gaging your reaction.

28: Tramps who use any of the following to entice money out of your pockets

'I'm not a vampire'
'I'm not a crocodile'
'I'm not a dinosaur'

I know you're not. You're a tramp. That's why you're asking me for money

This one, ummm I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.

It's an English thing. Bums as you would call them approach you in the streets and rather than ask for money they give you a sob story, but they always start off by pointing out that they're not a crocodile or an aligator or any form of scary animal/mythical beast. Then they try and sell you a shit £3 booklet that contains adverts.

[Oggie]

People who are needlessly stingy. Millionaires picking up pennies etc...
People who moan about having so little money all because they are unwilling to touch their savings account.
People who worry about and save mercilessly for their future all the time. Enjoy life while you are alive. The present is the only guarantee you have!
People who don't appreciate how awesome the earth truly is, and how it is there to be explored, discovered and enjoyed... if you just step out of the routine of normality that is.
Double standards.
Preachers.
Corruption.
Liars.
Narrow mindedness.
Ignorance.
Arrogance.
Snobbery.
Trade Unions (most of the time!)
People who stress about fashion.
Chanel, Luis Vuitton, Prada, Versace etc etc... and the brain dead fucks who actually buy into that shit.
Huge 4X4's that take up the width of an entire road and are being driven by people who have absolutely no use for them. City types, you know... Take your fucking Toyota Hiroshima out of our way!
People who take out a massive mortgage and then moan about how hard it is to pay off.
People taking offence on behalf of others.
The illusion of freedom that all governments portray.
And lastly, people who moan their way through their life. If the road is too bumpy for you, then get off the fucking bus and make space for others.

[El Kabong]

It's an English thing. Bums as you would call them approach you in the streets and rather than ask for money they give you a sob story, but they always start off by pointing out that they're not a crocodile or an aligator or any form of scary animal/mythical beast. Then they try and sell you a shit £3 booklet that contains adverts.

At least they try to sell you something our fucking bums tell you about how their aunt died and they need to buy a bus ticket or some crap like that.

One bum told me "Hey, boss man, you look like you could give a person a job, I'm just trying to make some money so I can get a bus ride back home, I told this fella over here I'd sweep this sidewalk (a city sidewalk) for a 'sammich' "....so I guess he was confused as to if he wanted to go home more or eat or maybe he thought he could pay for a ticket with the sandwich ......excuse me 'sammich' or maybe he was so tanked up on crack he figured he could ride the aforementioned 'sammich' to his destination.

I do hate pan handlers