What's everyone's favourite joke of all time ?

[:::PSL:::]

You tell people...

You wont believe what I just saw now?
They'll answer what?
I saw a gay cockroach...
What a gay cockroach??
Yeah it came out of the closet...

Lol!

Why do Mexicans wear pointy boots again?...

Kill the cockroaches in the corners...

Yes!!!

That joke cracked me up when I first heard it.

[Saddo]

my favs...

whats the difference between a buffalo and a bison?


~in a cockney accent~ you can wash ya fucking ands in a bison


....................

second fav...

say to someone "there back together after all that shit"

they will say "who"

which you reply "the cheeks of my arse"

[Conrad]

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?.......





















Stephen Hawkins in a house fire!

[Master]

A young blond woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful woman. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself, hysterically, the blond responds to the husband, “shut up….you’re next!”

[BIG H]

This joke is pretty stupid, but a guy told me it ina pub when I was ahmmered and I literally creid with laughter

A duck walks into a pub and say's to the barman...
"Have you got any duck food"
Barmen says "No mate, we don't we are a pub, we sell alcohol and human food"
Duck says "yeh but have you got any duck food"
"No mate, I told you we don't"
"Have you got any duck food"
"What is your problem, I told you we don't sell it"
"But have you got any
"What?"
"Duck food"
"Right you are pissing me off now, we don't sell fucking duck food"
"But have you got any duck food"
"NO WE DON'T"
"What about some duck food?"
"Listen I am getting really fucked off now, if you ask me again, I will nail your fucking beak to this bar top!!"

"Have you got any nails?"

"No!!"

...."So have you got any duck food?"












Duck: "Have you got any duck food."

[Mark TKO]

Jokes like that are good when pissed.

i know a variation of that which I won't go into in full.

Basically a guy goes into a bar and orders 8 lagers, 2 bitters, three vodkas etc...etc... and a bun.

The barman tells him he will have to change is order as they don't serve food so bit by bit you start reducing the number of drinks but always add the bun on at the end as the barman gives same response and gets more and more pissed off (you can go on forever !)

At end you are left with a pint of lager and a bun as your order and the barman sayss for last time we don't serve food etc.. etc.. change your order or i will kill you.


the punchline


"Ok Ok, I'm sorry I'm sorry.......just give me a bun"

Like i said you need beer down you to appreciate

[Master]

Jokes like that are good when pissed.

i know a variation of that which I won't go into in full.

Basically a guy goes into a bar and orders 8 lagers, 2 bitters, three vodkas etc...etc... and a bun.

The barman tells him he will have to change is order as they don't serve food so bit by bit you start reducing the number of drinks but always add the bun on at the end as the barman gives same response and gets more and more pissed off (you can go on forever !)

At end you are left with a pint of lager and a bun as your order and the barman sayss for last time we don't serve food etc.. etc.. change your order or i will kill you.


the punchline


"Ok Ok, I'm sorry I'm sorry.......just give me a bun"

Like i said you need beer down you to appreciate

You have to be pissed to like that joke, with an almighty hangover afterwards.