I'm feeding the homeless in a few hours....

[bzkfn]

Nice man! Been there, done that..on both sides unfortunately. Whatever motivates you and hot chicks count indeed!!

LOL nuh was kidding about the hot chick.... If reality has taught me anything, there will not be a single person there under the age of 55...

It should be interesting and hopefully will provide a story or two I can come back here with..

Sex with homeless Grandma for you.

[Andre]

[boozeboxer]

Please do not have sex with a banana.

[Mark TKO]

chances are you will also meet a homeless person who is a world class cello player and one who will fool you into believing he is an ex heavyweight champion of the world.

You may also meet Randolph and Mortimer Duke

[El Kabong]

chances are you will also meet a homeless person who is a world class cello player and one who will fool you into believing he is an ex heavyweight champion of the world.

You may also meet Randolph and Mortimer Duke

Nah The Dukes got rich again at the end of Coming to America.

[boozeboxer]

chances are you will also meet a homeless person who is a world class cello player and one who will fool you into believing he is an ex heavyweight champion of the world.

You may also meet Randolph and Mortimer Duke

Nah The Dukes got rich again at the end of Coming to America.

Maybe the Duke Tommy Morrison??

[Spicoli]

Nice man! Been there, done that..on both sides unfortunately. Whatever motivates you and hot chicks count indeed!!

LOL nuh was kidding about the hot chick.... If reality has taught me anything, there will not be a single person there under the age of 55...

It should be interesting and hopefully will provide a story or two I can come back here with..

Sex with homeless Grandma for you.

Never under estimate the powers of a hot shower...free meal....steel wool...and dentures

[Dizaster]

Well i've been lazy but guess i'll tell you how it all went.... I'll provide a little bit of boring detail incase anyone wonders what is involved with doing some charity work... there was some interesting stuff though to outweigh the boring..

Got there at 5pm (sunday)... First up had to put together a tonne of sandwiches, so I cut meat, buttered, put cheese in them etc.... Another guy made a massive pot of soup which was put in all these little buckets to keep it warm..
Once sandwiches were all made and bagged up, we got in the "soup" van which disappointingly was just like every other ordinary van with the words "soup van" on it...
Pulled up to a part of town which has 2 huge 20 to 30 story flats of community housing and a couple of blocks in between of smaller flats and community houses... Community houses being, provided by the government at like 10% of someone's wage... Derelict is close to an adequate description..
We all jump out, and head to different parts in groups of two.... Each team had a list of house/flat/unit numbers and people's names who have obviously put their name down for assistance. So you got to go to all their houses and knock and yell "Soup van!" and they come out and rummage through your basket for a sandwich they like... Ham and Cheese, and Tuna rolls were the biggest hit.... Oh and "got any sweets tonight", spoken through a jaw with little brown stumps for teeth, was pretty regular...

It was the most interesting part though, lots of interesting people come to the door... Here are a few of note...

1. This old, skinny, shirtless Chinese guy who because he had the only unit on the top floor of a block of flats, had sprawled his excess furniture and possessions out into the hallway and in the stairway 3/4 of the way down to the hall of the people below him...

2. A guy who had THE biggest forehead I have EVER seen.. It was SOOOOO high and came out SOOOO far that I truly beleive if he doesn't lean backwards permanently, he would almost certainly fall forward on to his face... But then suddenly just while I was coming to terms with whether I should call the Guiness book of world records over this guys head, a REALLLLY almost naked,REALLLLY almost hot girl comes out...
At first I thought it was denim shorts she was wearing, but ooooooooh, *do they have sweets tonight*, the lucky charm bag of sweets had her bend over, and nope, that's a denim skirt, and that's a g-string, and that's her lips parting around each side of it.... After that eye full I really wanted to have a good look at the rest of her, and she probably looked about 10 years older than what would be her actual age, probably due to lots of drug use, but she was still really fit and tan so that made my night...
Her obsession and vigour with going through the sweets bag though like there WAS drugs in there kind of unsettled me a little bit, combined with suddently picturing her and the forehead guy going at it, I decided it was time to go...

3. A terribly terribly skinny guy of whom every limb looked about the uniform width of a cardboard toilet roll invited us into his house.. (our first invite in) so we sat down and he started to tell us jokes... lame ones, nothing I can remember or is worth mentioning. but then started playing a song on his guitar for us which was pretty good... THEN pulls out a homemade bong from beside his lounge and offers each of us a hit... We both laugh and say thanks but we are okay, and he spies the sweets bag and asks for a chocolate croissant that is on top.. He also gets some soup, we go..

4. Possibly the most disturbing visit.. A really nice lady who'd seen us walking around and knew we were coming to her house was out the front for a chat... She was incredibly chatty and I decided to have a cigarette while the other van guy talked with her... She said "oh my god, that is the first time i've ever seen one of you guys have a cigarette". "in probably 5 or 6 years"... I think, great, i'm just trying to keep it real, and here I go and do something that i'm not supposed to... But she's like "nuh that's cool I don't care" and the other van guy seemed to be happy that she was happy, so all good.... Then her cat comes out and starts sniffing at the food, so I pet it... (I kinda like cats)... She's like "oh, you like cats do you.. or maybe you don't your just pretending"..Which I thought was kind of odd because who would pretend to like a cat...
But then she goes on to explain how she had a previous cat who's tail had been cut off and it's legs broken, and her previous cat which had had it's throat cut... (awful fucking scumbag area).... She also mentioned that the cat she has now which I was patting had had kittens about a year back, but she never knew where she had them, and never was able to find them... She explained there was a really good chance that the neighborhood kids had most likely found them and killed them.... She said there were a lot of Sudanese and Somalian refugee's here, and those kids loved killing cats and dogs.... Which made me want to drop my soup van duty's, and go kill some little black kids... But anyway, I said that was f'n terrible.. and we moved on...

After that it was pretty much time to move onto the next thing, so we all met up back at the van, and headed to a particular street corner where we set up a table, and serve soup and bread and coffee/tea etc... Did that for about 30 minutes, then head back, cleaned up, and went home..

All up it was pretty enjoyable... I can see you would really get to know the people you visit and would be able to socialize with them more, which is as big of a part of going there as giving them food. And maybe even be able to help them out with things eventually... But it was overall a good experience... I have to go and do it again in March, and am kinda looking forward to it... Or at least not not looking forward to it...

[Andre]

2. A guy who had THE biggest forehead I have EVER seen.. It was SOOOOO high and came out SOOOO far that I truly beleive if he doesn't lean backwards permanently, he would almost certainly fall forward on to his face... But then suddenly just while I was coming to terms with whether I should call the Guiness book of world records over this guys head, a REALLLLY almost naked,REALLLLY almost hot girl comes out...
At first I thought it was denim shorts she was wearing, but ooooooooh, *do they have sweets tonight*, the lucky charm bag of sweets had her bend over, and nope, that's a denim skirt, and that's a g-string, and that's her lips parting around each side of it.... After that eye full I really wanted to have a good look at the rest of her, and she probably looked about 10 years older than what would be her actual age, probably due to lots of drug use, but she was still really fit and tan so that made my night...
Her obsession and vigour with going through the sweets bag though like there WAS drugs in there kind of unsettled me a little bit, combined with suddently picturing her and the forehead guy going at it, I decided it was time to go...


HAhahah now that is classic reading.

[Andre]

I take it you were in Flemington road Newmarket mate?

Or the North Melbourne Commission flats?

Im just going on the amount of Somalians in those areas.

[Dizaster]

I take it you were in Flemington road Newmarket mate?

Or the North Melbourne Commission flats?

Im just going on the amount of Somalians in those areas.

Close.... It was Fitzroy/Collingwood flats... The buildings look the same and when we first pulled up I thought it was the flats in North Melbourne by looking up at them a block away....


Equal number of Somalians though....