Things Irish People Say....
Now you're sucking diesel;
That is quite a satisfactory result, I am pleased with your progress
That fella is rare as a bottle of crisps;
That gentleman is rather strange or unusual
I was langers and pissed all over my tackies
I was heavily intoxicated and urinated on my own footwear
C'mere and shut your mouth when you're talking to me;
If you wouldn't mind, I have an important opinion to voice
You're as useful as an Englishman with a hurley;
Your contribution to life is minimal, remove yourself from my presence

Weird things women say;
Its Fine
Its not fine/Its only fine if I come with you
She seems nice
Who is she? How do you now her? Is she prettier than me? IS SHE?!!!
Yes
No
Of Course
No
Maybe
No
I'm not sure
No