Random Inquiry

[Nameless]

I thought about suicide a few times but 3 things refrained me:

1) the fact that once dead, I won't feel that "release" that I was seeking, that the very last sensation I felt would be despair and sadness, which means... no release at all as I can't see the deliverance neither feel it because I am dead with no sensations and because in the very last fraction of my life, I'll go with the utterly unpleasant feeling that drove me through despair.

2) A sense of responsibility toward those who love/like me and that would be deeply hurt if I would commit suicide, that we want it or not, we are born with some kind of moral responsibility to those around us and some of these people are way too beautiful and kind to be hurt/shattered/destroyed in such way.

3) I know that these moments will pass and that once passed, I will think "yeah, that was a stupid idea otherwise you would not have experienced the present moment and how gooodd is it".

I feel you but the next nice moment you'll live will be worth the wait, trust me.