Thats a difficult one Kat.

Firstly, sorry to hear the news

From your perspective it will seem unfair, cos, as ya say, you've spent alot of time with him and his wife, and built that bond with them. One thing i ask is how does his wife feel about you being there, or have ya not spoke with her?

From the sons point of view, unless you have built up a bond with him, then I personally can understand that he only wants family around at this important time. When my stepdad passed recently I didnt want anyone but family around, and even some family members I didnt. It's a very hard time for everyone involved, so all ya can do is uphold the families wishes, and send some flowers offering your sympathy. Im assuming they will not stop you from attending the funeral, so you can at least say your final goodbye's then if thats any consolation