Worst thread possible.

[ryanman]

What is going on around here? I haven't said a word about snails in my life and here you all are saying that I have opinions on the reproductive life of snails.

I do have opinions about snails, but very few opinions about their reproductive patterns. The main view I have is that they are very ugly and grotesque creatures. It used to really annoy me as a child to be hurrying my way to school and then suddenly hear the crack of the shell underneath my feet. What is it about rainy weather that makes these creatures think they are immortal? It's raining, let's ambush the footpaths! And then it's a million crushed shells up and down the country....simultaneously. Honestly, they are really stupid and incredibly slow. I haven't a clue how such things breed or why they aren't extinct. We should ship them all over to France and be done with them once and for all. The horrid little buggers.

Actually snails are fascinating creatures able to heal mind and body. I suggest you read the rather wonderful book 'The sound of a wild snail eating' by Elisabeth Tova Bailey.

This was a wonderful short book about a bedridden woman undergoing some mystery illness who had only a snail, brought in by accident by a friend bring a pot plant, for company.

If you'd have followed my advice and bought a kindle I could have emailed it you...

You read a book about snails? That is strange. Actually, I was only having a rant, so don't take it all at face value. I am quite sure snails have their little niche which they occupy with much pride and efficiency, but they are still ugly, slow and annoying little bastards. I guess I wouldn't mind them if they would just keep off the footpaths. They need little snail signs like we have warning us not to cross the railway lines. Where do they think they are going anyway? I just have a natural revulsion for slimy little creatures like that. Slugs are awful too. They are just so hideous.

But do you feel bad when you crush them? I do. I had to stamp on a frog once. Only last year. It was crippled in a door. I burst into tears as soon as I did it. I'm pretty tough you see.

[Master]

Some poster once started a thread about the next boxer to die, totally inappropriate, luckily the mods took it down.