START AN "ASK EX" COLUMN IN A LOCAL PAPER... The guy has an answer for everything...

Sleepless in Chicago: Bernard, I'm having trouble with my girlfriend... I think shes cheating on me... What should I do?

Ex: first, follow the trifling B*tch to the tricks crib and smash the car through the front of the house... Grab your bat out of the trunk... Call it something witty like "the peacemaker" and beat the little f*k within an inch of his life... Then tell her the same u'll happen to her if she keeps it up... That should straighten the tramp right out, sleepless!!!!

Hows that? What a great job for B-Hop