What's everyone's favourite joke of all time ?

[El Kabong]

OK well there's this story about the famous pirate Red Shirt Ron, he was the toughest S.O.B to sail the 7 seas! He was called Red Shirt Ron because in the heat of battle he would always wear his red shirt and stand at the bow of the ship daring his enemies to shoot him and if he was ever hit, the red shirt hid the blood so as not to frighten his crew during combat or a raid. Well one day Ron's boat was out searching for prey and the lookout called out "Ship A Hoy!"...."Cappin' it be one of the Royal Navy!". Red Shirt Ron steeled himself for the battle that was about to ensue, he called his cabin boy over but before he could say anything the lookout had spotted 2 more vessels of the Royal Navy off the port bow. Red Shirt Ron told the cabin boy to fetch his famous red shirt, but then the lookout yelled another alarm "3 more ships to starboard Cappin'! We're surrounded"....Red Shirt Ron then called out for the cabin boy again and said "Lad, while you're fetching my red shirt, make sure you get my brown pants too"

Waka waka!

[Dark Lord Al]

A bloke gets home from work early , and he hears noises from the bedroom. He walks upstairs to find his best friend having sex with his wife.
He is horrified , and shouts abuse , then grabs his friend in a head lock and drags him outside to the garden shed.
He gets hold of his friends cock and put it in a vice , tightens it and snaps the handle off the vice.
He says to his friend - "how could you do this to me i am your best friend"?
He then grabs a very rusty hacksaw and looks at his friend.
His friends says - Oh god are you ging to cut my cock off for sleeping with your wife"?
The bloke says - "No you are , im setting fire to the fucking shed"!!!!