Woman Troubles

[Snakey]

justy got shit faced, it was good, i plan on it for the weekend, the les i see her thrte better, if its meant to be she wont fuck around with the other guy, if she does, its not, and i can go on with my life!

thanks gain,

False empowerment is the first clue you're doing something wrong

What do you mean...coz he got drunk?

[Purist]

No, he's acting passive to it like it doesn't matter and thast the wrong thing to do. He listened to all these guys here telling him this and that like "leave her" and etc. Which has probably got him in an "I WANT ANSWERS NOW" mood, so whenever he doesn't get them he goes into a "F' her" mood which is false empowerment. He needs to be patient.

But then again, men aren't patient, they always want answers and are always asking us questions before the time to answer them. It's like smothering someone.

he did good by letting her know and showing her that he wants to help her and be with her through it and will support her. But asking her all the time if she's ready is the wrong thing to do because she'll feel like she's being forced to tell.

[Mad_Dog]

Starr you are jerk, read what he said. He actually followed your moronic advice. He told her he would be there for her....blah blah blah.

IT was clear to the rest of us that she had already moved on. I wanted him to leave with his dignity. Now you sit here and blame him for her sins?

If he wants to get drunk let him, he can do that at least once or twice. but after that, he should stop and move on.

Stop blaming him

[Mad_Dog]

Read the following

SOBO Says
i was at a coffee house and she called saying she had just finished work, I told her I wanted to talk, after some resistence, I pursuaded her to come, she was very busy, etc. So i give her my spiel, about how I am there for her, and how I want to help her through this, and that I want to help her, and not just buy getting thrown to the side and letting her think,

The woman instead of caring for him still lets him wait.


He then asks, "so it's you, and its not me right" to this she smiled, and said "yeah, its me and not you"
WTF was she laughing at? that confused me, I did not confront the matter further,

She laughed at him!!!!!

see she can laugh at him because she already has at the very least mentally left him and got together with the other guy.

Poor guy is confused and hurt and asks
"so, is your mind basically made up" she shook her head no, and gives him a mercy hug and kiss as if he was a street do.



he followed starrs and missys advice and he gets treated like a dog

[Purist]

Read the following

SOBO Says
i was at a coffee house and she called saying she had just finished work, I told her I wanted to talk, after some resistence, I pursuaded her to come, she was very busy, etc. So i give her my spiel, about how I am there for her, and how I want to help her through this, and that I want to help her, and not just buy getting thrown to the side and letting her think,

The woman instead of caring for him still lets him wait.

Can't she?

He then asks, "so it's you, and its not me right" to this she smiled, and said "yeah, its me and not you"
WTF was she laughing at? that confused me, I did not confront the matter further,
She laughed at him!!!!!

How do you know that she was laughing at him?

It's not like she laughed after he said he would be there for her.

She laughed after he told her "It's not me, its you right?" And THEN she smiled and agreed. NEWSFLASH she wasn't laughing at him!

see she can laugh at him because she already has at the very least mentally left him and got together with the other guy.

You really get misconception on a lot of things, ever think of expanding your mind?

Poor guy is confused and hurt and asks
"so, is your mind basically made up" she shook her head no, and gives him a mercy hug and kiss as if he was a street do.

Again, all your perception points to is something negative.

THE MOMENT she tells him that she's leaving him then you have layway to say she's treating him like a dog etc... but she hasn't left him has she? And she's not cutting him off and avoiding him is she? No she isn't. You're taking things like this and showing a negative perception. You're only thinking to one outcome and one way things work.

You're not being open minded, I am. You been saying since jump that she was gonna leave him so any little hint of anything you can mold to it you're automatically saying it.

[Mad_Dog]

of course you are being "open minded" you don't know how to read. It is easy to be "open minded" when you ignore the basic facts.

FACT: She tells him that she is confused cause she saw a former boyfriend.

FACT: You tell him to be supportive and to be there for her. Forget about how much he is hurting, care about only for her.

FACT: I tell him not to waste his time because she is going to leave him anyways. It is as clear as the nose on your face. I tell him to get out with his dignity by having him be the initiator.

FACT: He follows your advice

FACT: She instead of crying like she did the first time, she smiles and gives him a peck on the cheek, symbolically saying there there little boy dont cry, its ok.

FACT: They break it off. Just like I said she would. If he would have taken the initiative to leave on his own, instead of saying they both agreed to split it would have been better for his ego. Just to let you know, they both did not agree to split up, he only did it because she said she wanted to and he went along with it hoping against hope that she would say I love you and I dont want to leave you

FACT: You blame him


FACT: If he breaks off totally, he would feel much better in a few weeks. Accept that it is over and do not hope that she will come back. She will be doing him soon SOBO as much as that hurts to read, this is true. She will be having sex with him very very soon. Put it behind you bro. Dont act nutty, just move on. You will see, a new woman will come into your life maybe two. This will soon be a memory.


Starr and Missy live in a dream world. I tell it like it is.

[Purist]

But you and I are never going to agree on the situations because we both have different experiences and neither is the same so we're not gonna agree. Some things that you see as something as an instant negative because of experience I see other things in because I have had to make those type of decisions that his current girlfriend had to make.

One thing is that I loved knowing they'd be there, but I didn't like if they kept bugging me about the answers if I didn't have them. So it made me frustrated with them. And guys have got frustrated with me in those situations where they are in her shoes(i e an ex flame says they love them) and I became shitfaced with the guy and kept begging him for an answer so I could move on. But it was a mistake because constantly asking them pushed them further away from me. So I have lost boyfriends to another girl in both shoes. (as the one who has put on hold, and the one putting the ones on hold)

So I know this situation but I don't know everything and I'm not acting like I do. But I know these situations so I'm giving advice. And I'm trying to help save his relationship. it's not just easy as leaving someone as some people are trying to make it seem.

So you and I are never gonna agree because our different views or experiences.

of course you are being "open minded" you don't know how to read. It is easy to be "open minded" when you ignore the basic facts.

FACT: She tells him that she is confused cause she saw a former boyfriend.

FACT: SHE TOLD HIM! and didn't do it behind his back or keep it inside

FACT: You tell him to be supportive and to be there for her. Forget about how much he is hurting, care about only for her.

He doesn't have to forget anything. And I said show that you care for her happiness and showing you'll be there for her. the issue here is that after he did that, he kept pushing to get the answer. That is why she is getting frustrated. Yes I said let her know you want to help her through it, but I didn't say to keep pressing the issue did I? I said tell her and let her know, he need not go any further then that. because asking her for the answer when she hasn't even made up her mind will make her feel like he is forcing her to make a decision which is bad for the situation.

FACT: I tell him not to waste his time because she is going to leave him anyways. It is as clear as the nose on your face. I tell him to get out with his dignity by having him be the initiator.

FACT: He is only there for the summer and is leaving soon so they are going to be together regardless. What I am giving him is a foundation that their relationship is on and that foundation is that he isn't selfish at a time where she is thinking selfishly so then if she made that selfish decision she'd have to live with that guilt while he wouldn't!!!

FACT: He follows your advice

FACT: Yes. but his mistake was pressing the issue of getting an answer too much, it was good he gave her to tell her he'd be there and etc... but the constant asking her if she is ready and has an answer makes her feel like he is forcing her to make a decision too soon which is going to push her away.

FACT: She instead of crying like she did the first time, she smiles and gives him a peck on the cheek, symbolically saying there there little boy dont cry, its ok.

THAT is your conception, and NOT a fact

FACT: They break it off. Just like I said she would. If he would have taken the initiative to leave on his own, instead of saying they both agreed to split it would have been better for his ego. Just to let you know, they both did not agree to split up, he only did it because she said she wanted to and he went along with it hoping against hope that she would say I love you and I dont want to leave you

Read above.

FACT: You blame him

Again your conception. Read above to what I said.

IF he follows my advice and she makes that selfish decision knowing that he would be behind her and isn't thinking of himself and she makes the decision to leave, then she will have guilt on her head for treating him that way and he won't have guilt because he'll know he did what he could and she choose otherwise... HER CHOICE that he wouldn't have influenced. Now which situation is he gonna feel better.

If she leaves and he knows that he wasn't the reason or had nothing to do with her leaving that it was her decision.

OR

Feeling like he could have done something to prevent it and start blaming himself?

FACT: If he breaks off totally, he would feel much better in a few weeks. Accept that it is over and do not hope that she will come back. She will be doing him soon SOBO as much as that hurts to read, this is true. She will be having sex with him very very soon. Put it behind you bro. Dont act nutty, just move on. You will see, a new woman will come into your life maybe two. This will soon be a memory

YOU ARE SERIOUSLY close minded if you think he'd get over it in a few weeks. And like I said all you are saying is your negative perspective when things can be completely different then you're seeing them. Which is why I'm glad I'm here to give a different perspective on things, because if he listened to you he would be hurt very very terribly and questioning himself with the 'what if' factor.

You don't tell how it is, you give one side... and I give the other side.

[Mad_Dog]

you seem like a nice person, I dont want to antagonize you




why should he have to go through all that, he is too young, he is not married, just move on.
she could go on thinking about it without him. forget her.

so lets agree to disagree even though I am right

[Mad_Dog]

starr he was hurting terribly, and he is hurting terribly

listen with all due respect my methods have been tested and restested by people far smarter than you and I (Saddo and Brad) and they have been proven to be true.

[Purist]

Look.

He follows my advice and he shows her that he cares and is ok with whatever makes her happy and it shows he isn't thinking selfishly.

So if she makes that selfish decision and leaves him who is going to have more on their mind?

Him who knows he did all he could and didn't do anything to drive her away she just made a decision and he won't have to think about "what if" and he can move on.

or her who gave him up, and she will have "what if" on her mind and guilt will hit her for how she treated him when he showed he cared for her happiness and didn't make a selfish decision, she would have been the one to make it.

So who's the one who will have more on their mind?

[Mad_Dog]

but why play that game?

It hurts to play that game. It is easier to stop and start anew. Your way he can continue to be supportive while he gets his heart and ego stomped on. No thanks.

[Mad_Dog]

Jesus what time is it? 10:20 my time. I have been up since 4 AM and I am getting cranky

are you in the_NYC?

[Snakey]

My opinion is that if a girl doubts your relationship and she has a guy calling her 10 times in a week then you are right to demand answers. At this point they were still going out and some bastard was calling her all the time, if i was sobo...i would of confronted the guy and his gf coz all she is doing is caring about herself. Shes leaving sobo without any confirmation on their relationship while talking to some sleazy cunt who decided he loved her, im sorry but in my books thats fucking wrong. Thats getting as bad as cheating imo and i dont think any guy in their right mind would be able to be all pleasent and shit to a girl who could be cheating on him. Sobo mate i think your better off without her, if shes having doubts and is having a lot of contact with another guy who loves her then shes setting you up for a big fall.

[Mad_Dog]

Snakey, can you say the above in rap? I can I just want to know if you can do it Snoop Doggy Dog style

I am waiting

[Purist]

My opinion is that if a girl doubts your relationship and she has a guy calling her 10 times in a week then you are right to demand answers. At this point they were still going out and some bastard was calling her all the time, if i was sobo...i would of confronted the guy and his gf coz all she is doing is caring about herself. Shes leaving sobo without any confirmation on their relationship while talking to some sleazy cunt who decided he loved her, im sorry but in my books thats fucking wrong. Thats getting as bad as cheating imo and i dont think any guy in their right mind would be able to be all pleasent and shit to a girl who could be cheating on him. Sobo mate i think your better off without her, if shes having doubts and is having a lot of contact with another guy who loves her then shes setting you up for a big fall.

But has she been contacting the other guy 10 times and hanging out with him and blowing SOBO off for the other guy? nope. Everything is assumption. She could very well be palnning on staying with SOBO which I think she will, and if she doesn't its on her and not him.