Howdy Do !!!
Mr. Fenster, your local Pharmacist.
"You just put two fingers together, and dip."
They told me to go down the street and turn left. Damn ball-bearings.
Australia is about to hold a vote on gay marriage now. I am very clear about this. When someone tries to defend homosexuality, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. No more argument. X has prevailed by using the Word of God so it's hard to argue with that!
However, I do need some advice from knowledgeable people regarding some of the other specific laws according to the Word of God, and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbours, who are a bit fussy. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Scotsmen, but not the English. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Englishmen?
e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. I think he is a doctor. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that one may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. My wife's eyesight isn't great.. Does her vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play rugby if I wear gloves? What if my teammates think I am a homosexual?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
I have to admit that this is not my own invention, genius though it is
Last edited by X; 09-09-2017 at 03:56 PM.
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?
Damn so much shit has happened I forgot about gay marriage, damn they will burn in hell for eternity, I only have like 2,000 years to do in purgatory for my lustful thoughts of @Gandalf
The real question is do want a government to tell you who you can and can't marry? Remember this, The government is not your mamma. you can marry who you want, smoke what you want, do what ever you want as long as you're not hurting anyone else. Freedom is worth fighting for.
You're right, I don't want any government telling me who I can or can't marry ..... but nor do I want some old man with a beard telling me either. I never voted religious people to power, the only qualification they have is that they persuaded people they are somehow closer to an invisible unproveable force who they tell me SHOULD tell me what to do and think, and who I can or can't marry.
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?
You guys are twisted
Are you suggesting that anybody who doesn't disapprove of gay marriage is somehow logically gay themselves? Was that your joke?
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?
No, I just think @Gandalf is gay
Oh, that's fair enough then
It's possible he just wanks a lot over gay porn, rather than actually having tried it first hand?
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?
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