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Thread: Any good jokes ????

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  1. #256
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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents the other day.After saying
    hello,my dad pulled me to one side and whispered " you could have done better
    than that son. She is the ugliest pig i have ever seen, she must weigh 23 stone,
    covered in spots,lips like a cod,shes got a beard,and is cross eyed,got a bald head,
    size 13 feet,and lastly she fucking stinks.".I said " there is no need to whisper dad
    she is deaf......

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Last Jimmy Savile joke i promise.

    George Clooney and Brad Pitt are making a film about the life of
    Jimmy Savile.......
    Oh she,s eleven.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Jimmy Salvile is reported to be alive well, he's been seen in the Irish sea bobbing up and down on a boy.
    Last edited by Dia bando; 11-08-2012 at 07:50 PM.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I get the feeling most of Jimmy Saviles victims were Manchester City fans.
    They dont say fuck all for 40 years , then they all pipe up at once.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    One of the Asian paedos who groomed young girls in Rochdale was known locally as Jamaal Fixit.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Christmas has been cancelled this year at Stoke Mandevil hospital.The hospital administrators
    have announced the thought of another visit by a white haired man emptying his sack,
    is to much of a risk.

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    Default Tim Tebow's lost emails

    coworker sent me this

    from Tim Tebow's Lost Emails - Grantland




    go to link for bigger/readable pic
    "A good stickgrappler has good stick skills, good grappling, & good stickgrappling & can keep track of all 3 simultaneously. This is a good trick & can be quite effective." - Marc 'Crafty Dog' Denny

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for a required medical. A few days later
    the doctor phones. "Paddy" he says "you have sugar diabetes" paddy says "no problem,
    when do i fight the fecker".

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Teacher asks the class, can you give me a word ending with tor that eats, Billy says Alligator Miss,
    well done, Kate says Predator Miss very good, Johnny says Vibrator Miss, teacher that doe's not eat
    anything,! Johnny my sister has one, and she says it don't half eat batteries.

  10. #265
    El Kabong Guest

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    So apparently Lincoln is doing well in the theaters........despite historical evidence to the contrary

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Bought a couple of old pirate earrings a buck an ear.
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Experts have predicted that by 2025 you will be no more than six feet away from an ex Chelsea manager.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I never believed that the bloke next door, a lolipop man, was stealing from work,
    but all the signs were there.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    My doctor told me to avoid saturated fat. So i stopped shagging the wife in the shower.

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I've just been sitting here for 5 mins, looking at my new sig gif on loop...laughing my ass off.

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