Best Man Speech - any gags appreciated (ccs all round !)

[beds]

i did best man once

i started with

hello ladies and gents, its my job to give a speech as best man, im a total novice in public speaking with a desirable urge to prove it to you all right now

and finished off with but finally theres a few ppl here the day couldnt have gone smoothly without and if u all raise your glasses...... to the bar staff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mark TKO]

cheers Beds - I will definitely be using the bar staff toast gag at the end

defo !

[Drago]

i was best man in 2003 & i was shittin myself, how I got thru it was by getting a big widescreen & puttin pics on it, was great everyone turned away from me to see the screen took abit of the pressure off, afterwards everyone bought me loads of beer & were generally impressed with the speech. If u aint got stories on your mate just make em up, once they are told everyone will take them as written in stone anyway.

I gotta do it again in may but this time the bride said i cant use a screen, so gonna give em a 2 minute speech then, short & sweet. I been to weddings when best man is talking for like 45 mins & everyone was bored stiff & wanting beer & the toilet!

[Saddo]

hahahaha some very funny stuff on this thread hahahahaha

i started one of my speechs off by saying saying its a great venue here at the "Think long and hard of the name but dont say it" then just pull one of the table silverware.... knife, spoon or whatever from your inside pocket and read the venue name from the back of it.

and put it back in your pocket carriing on as if nothing unusual happened.

[Drago]

good one may have to use that one myself!