A liberal interviews a US Marine General

[Trainer Monkey]

Hinty hinty,there are there these things called digital cameras
Now i could SAY I have a custom made boar spear
But its way more effective to walk in to the next room and just take a picture
[img width=700 height=532]http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j17/HisRevness/HPIM03702.jpg[/img]
Just like I could say Im a pretty well known caver,but what the hell,thats why you save this stuff to disc anyway

Or I could CLAIM I particpated in medieval combat,but hey,its allways better to have a pic around just in case
[img width=700 height=510]http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j17/HisRevness/confed.jpg[/img]
Any other stupid comments you wish to make,or has that satisfied your need for making them for awhile?

[No Contest]

Want to play Dungeons & Dragons later Trainer Monkey?

[Trainer Monkey]

Want to play Dungeons & Dragons later Trainer Monkey?

Tell me your eyes wouldnt have lit up like a christmas tree during this conversation
"I get to hit someone with a large stick?"
"Yep"
"And if I do it real hard,they say good?"
"Uh-huh"
"And the cops never get called?"
"Yeah"
Youd be shrugging on the gorget and saying "SIGN ME UP" tommorrow,there is nothing like putting a seirous dent in 12 guage steel to make the whole day go better
Face it,hearing somebody grunt and fold up like a house of cards feels good inside,knowing it happened because you out thought them,even better
Though,to not sound like a total bastard,I really am interested in military tactics throughout history,I just have a severe total bastard streak

[No Contest]

You were just getting medieval on their asses, I can dig it. Lord knows I would like to whack my friends with a club every once in awhile, good stress relief.

[Trainer Monkey]

You were just getting medieval on their asses, I can dig it. Lord knows I would like to whack my friends with a club every once in awhile, good stress relief.

The event thats pic was taken at The Pennsic War has about 1500 combatants per side,so you've got about 3000 people charging at each other with intent
The first time you do it,it is high freaking intensity
The battle in question thats being photographed is the Woods battle,you feed units in as you need them in that,my unit was up,so we were heading in

[Cortez The Killer]

You were just getting medieval on their asses, I can dig it. Lord knows I would like to whack my friends with a club every once in awhile, good stress relief.

The event thats pic was taken at The Pennsic War has about 1500 combatants per side,so you've got about 3000 people charging at each other with intent
The first time you do it,it is high freaking intensity
The battle in question thats being photographed is the Woods battle,you feed units in as you need them in that,my unit was up,so we were heading in

That's pretty wild, I didn't know there were such events. So it is full contact with only armor to protect? Is there a safe word or certain rules?

[Trainer Monkey]

You were just getting medieval on their asses, I can dig it. Lord knows I would like to whack my friends with a club every once in awhile, good stress relief.

The event thats pic was taken at The Pennsic War has about 1500 combatants per side,so you've got about 3000 people charging at each other with intent
The first time you do it,it is high freaking intensity
The battle in question thats being photographed is the Woods battle,you feed units in as you need them in that,my unit was up,so we were heading in

That's pretty wild, I didn't know there were such events. So it is full contact with only armor to protect? Is there a safe word or certain rules?

Basically youve got to call it yourself,youve got to be qualified to do it.One of the first things youve got to know how to do,is to be able to call a shot good,and then be able to go down in a defensive position
On regular intervals its stopped,so the dead can get themselves the heck out of there
Considerring,it basically is being hit at full force with rattan(solid rattan doesnt splinter,it frays,but its still a very solid wood)theres a suprisingly low injury rate.
Admitably it has the same risks as any full contact sport,but hey,you pay the ticket you take the ride.
A tale of my own SCA household(I know its true,I was there,I was one of those that made the challenge)
Final Battle of Pennsic XXVII

The mercenary household of the Mountain Confederation had been fighting for the Kingdom of Ansteorra all war, and doing a damned good job of it, too. On the final Saturday of the war, Barn, the King of Ansteorra, came to the Mountain Confederation as we assembled for the first battle, and spoke. He congratulated us on our fighting, on our ability to work with his army, and gave our fighting unit the Sable Falcon, the highest fighting award in the Kingdom of Ansteorra.

He shook each of us by the hand, and personally thanked each one of us for our efforts on his kingdom's behalf. We cheered him, and his kingdom, and we adorned our standard with Ansteorra's Falcon.

Barn regretted that he could not remain at Pennsic to lead his forces into battle. In fact, nearly the entire Ansteorran army was in their camp, packing to begin their 1200 mile drive back to their kingdom. There were only a handful of Ansteorrans who were going to take the field that final morning, and Barn wondered if we would allow them to fight with us under our unit command.

We explained that we would be honored to have it so. Barn's final words to us were "Take care of my boys..." We cheered him again, as he strode from the field.

The mountain pass battle began, and the combined forces of Ansteorra and the Mountain Confederation fought hard, well and honorably.

After the mountain pass, as we were resting for the coming field battle, we saw there was a great gathering of Eastern forces in the resurrection area of the battlefield. A few of our fighters joined the throng, and came back with the news that the Eastern Army planned to withdraw from the field. At first we did not believe that this could be true. But as we watched, the entire Eastern Army formed a column behind the Eastern banners and marched from the field.

Our Ansteorran comrades grew dismayed, and cried "We did not drive 1200 miles to quit a battle!" Our unit commander, Thorvaaldr, exclaimed: "I promised your king I would take care of you, and taking care of you does NOT include walking away from a fight. Don your armor!"

And so we did. By my count, there were 24 warriors of the Mountain Confederation, 7 warriors from Ansteorra, and 3 Atlantian warriors who arrayed ourselves in our battle gear, and strode to the highest point of the battlefield. Over our heads waved the blue and gold banner of the Mountain Confederation, adorned by the Ansteorran Sable Falcon. We paused atop the hill and gazed at the might of the Midrealm army. It stretched from one side of the field to the other.

Then the 34 of us marched across the battle plain, to challenge the Midrealm army.

Thorvaaldr, as our unit commander, spoke for us. He cried: "We are the combined forces of the Kingdom of Ansteorra and the Mountain Confederation. We came here to fight a battle, and a battle we shall have. We will leave this field only in Victory or in Death. Gentlemen, assemble your army!"

And the cheers erupted. They began with the Midrealm fighters who had actually heard the challenge, and spread along both flanks as word went out that a handful of fighters had stayed on the field. The cheers became a roar as we were engulfed by our "foes". Backs were pounded, hands shaken, we were lifted and hugged and swung around by a hundred fighters each. When the accolade ended, we 34 fighters marched back to our little hill, ready to be the last "Forlorn Hope" of the blue taped army.

But as we stood there, beneath our standard bearing the golden snarling mountain lion and the blue hills we call home, a single warrior approached from the other side. He came before us and cried: "You have shown great honor and glory by your actions this day. Please allow me to fight at your side." And we replied: "We would be honored to have you, and welcome. Bring this man blue tape!" And lo, as this was being done, two more fighters approached, asking to fight with us. And then four more fighters, and then a unit, and then another unit asked to join us. And then, the Kingdom of Calontir approached us and said: "Please allow us the honor of fighting at your side!" And to all who approached, we cried: "Thank you, the honor is ours! Welcome! More blue tape!"

A grizzled knight of Calontir walked through our ranks, shaking our hands. He was an obvious veteran of many wars, but tears flowed freely from his eyes, as he shook our hands and told us how proud he was to belong to a Society who valued honor and chivalry so highly. "War points do not matter, this isn't about war points," he said, "it is about honor and chivalry. You have truly won this War."

Once again, we turned to face the Midrealm from our little hill. But now, beneath the banner of the Mountain Confederation, there stood an army that reached halfway across the battlefield. On the other side, the army of the Midrealm also covered only half the field. They had released their allies from their Pennsic XXVII war alliances, and allowed the marshals to even the sides. The Midrealm had had the final war point in their gauntlets, they could have crushed our Forlorn Hope with a couple of small units. But they had chosen instead the route of chivalry, honor, generosity and graciousness.

The marshals finished briefing us, the assembled and newly assembled armies awaited breathlessly. And with the roar of the cannon, the final official war point battle of Pennsic XXVII began. It was glorious, it was honorable and clean. It was some of the best fighting of the war. When it was over, the blue taped side was victorious.

Barn, the King of Ansteorra, was still on site to hear the news that his kingdom had won the final war point of Pennsic XXVII. As Ansteorra was still in alliance with the Eastern forces, Barn sent an envoy to HRM Timothy with the gift of the final war point. HRM Timothy graciously accepted.

The words I write are true. This saga is the story of a small band of warriors who stood alone as a Forlorn Hope against an army, and won. "Honor, not Honors" is the Mountain Confederation motto. Our colors are blue and gold.

Our colors do not run.

This posting is not meant in any way to impugn the honor or question the reasons of HRM Timothy or the Eastern Army. It was just too good a tale to not be told.

Arden MacIlhatton

Warrior of the Mountain Confederation
http://www.confed.com/articles/final_battle.html

[Trainer Monkey]

I'll be the first to admit though,while most of the pack of us were doing the "Im going to die with honor routine" up on the hill,and trying to look extremely noble,I was doing the "Holy hell,we just challenged an army"and nervously laughing my a$$ off routine
Arden doesnt tell that part,but I more or less expected us to be wheat toast,so I couldnt help but laugh. To explain,my household The Mountain Confederation is a bunch of dirty mercenaries.And when I say dirty,I know of which I speak,Ive seen us after 2 weeks of Pennsic.Our reputation is at best described as "trouble makers"
Normally its described as "wife swapping drunken degenerates",though I think thats a little unfair,it was more girlfriend swapping,wives were generally off limits