I feel like I am done with life

[brocktonblockbust]

I feel like I am done with life. 54 + years. I have done many many things and I have gone to many many places and I have suffered through many many trials and tribulations and hardships and I don't regret any of it because it was an incredibly mind-blowing learning experience all the way through from a very emotionally tough childhood filled with anxiety and fears and lack of self-esteem all the way through college and then about 18 years of struggling hard from one clerical job to another in New York City and in New Jersey and then finally reengineering myself in 2006 to become an ESL instructor and travel the world. Now I am back in the United States for a little over 3 years and the feeling of emptiness in the feeling of getting older and your body starts to have some aches and pains and you try hard to do Sprints and to do push-ups into work out and to watch what you eat and to drink plenty of water and to try to get good sleep but it just starts to get very tiresome and it just starts to get very depressing and it just starts to get very empty and Melancholy and you just start to feel very unmotivated about anything anymore and you start to really not care about anything anymore because it seems like the same old song and dance outside in the streets and in the news and in everyday life again and again and again and you drive past the cemeteries when you are on the bus or on the train and you see tens of thousands of tombs and Graves and grave sites and the wind is blowing in the gray sky above the cemeteries through the graveyards the grey wind and the Cool Grey sky in the brooding clouds of silver and white and you wonder where all the souls have gone and where we are going and how futile everything is here

@Gandalf @Beanz

[Beanz]

Whatever it may seem like, life is not futile. Think how much your wife loves you and how empty her life would be without you. Think how many people you have enabled to improve their lot in life by learning English so that they can screw over the white man . Think how many people on here have had their lives lightened if only for a moment by one of your mad posts or funny videos. Think of all the other forums you could troll and bait in the next 50 years. Think of how great it would be to eventually be able to chill out from the rat race a little in a little place in the sticks. It is entirely normal to feel like this, I often do and I am sure we are not alone. Do not let your body tell your mind and soul what to do. It can pretend that it is the captain of your ship sometimes, but it really is just an illusion.

I am currently shooting a lot of pre-production tests in graveyards for a promo in a few weeks, so understand how they can remind you of how fleeting life is. No reason to let go of it though, if anything it makes it more precious. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to share this with us Rocky, can't have been easy.

[Memphis]

Whats required here is a beer tasting video. I fucking loved those. That'll make you feel better Brock.

[brocktonblockbust]

Thanks to Beanz and Memphis for reaching out to lend a hand. I hope it did not come across as suicidal because that is not what it is just to get that out there. But it is near overwhelming melancholy. I hesitate to say depression but more like Melancholy and the French word of ENNUI.

how about I start a new thread next week or so on the let's get it on forum of beer tasting? I can make it especially entertaining by keeping the entire beer tasting to 60 seconds for each video.

Thanks again you guys those are really good points beanz I appreciate that very much.

[Dark Lord Al]

Steve you may be unpredictable but you are - YOU and that is unique in itself.
Come to Manchester and live the dream.

[walrus]

If you weren’t such a fucking dick u would probably feel better. You reap what you sow.

[Dia bando]

Steve it's a age thing mate as I said to you have travelled and seen the world and experienced more than most.
Itchy feet mate you find it hard settle hopefully you will just get used to being in one place or you experience more of the USA.😊

[Alpha]

I feel like I am done with life. 54 + years. I have done many many things and I have gone to many many places and I have suffered through many many trials and tribulations and hardships and I don't regret any of it because it was an incredibly mind-blowing learning experience all the way through from a very emotionally tough childhood filled with anxiety and fears and lack of self-esteem all the way through college and then about 18 years of struggling hard from one clerical job to another in New York City and in New Jersey and then finally reengineering myself in 2006 to become an ESL instructor and travel the world. Now I am back in the United States for a little over 3 years and the feeling of emptiness in the feeling of getting older and your body starts to have some aches and pains and you try hard to do Sprints and to do push-ups into work out and to watch what you eat and to drink plenty of water and to try to get good sleep but it just starts to get very tiresome and it just starts to get very depressing and it just starts to get very empty and Melancholy and you just start to feel very unmotivated about anything anymore and you start to really not care about anything anymore because it seems like the same old song and dance outside in the streets and in the news and in everyday life again and again and again and you drive past the cemeteries when you are on the bus or on the train and you see tens of thousands of tombs and Graves and grave sites and the wind is blowing in the gray sky above the cemeteries through the graveyards the grey wind and the Cool Grey sky in the brooding clouds of silver and white and you wonder where all the souls have gone and where we are going and how futile everything is here

@Gandalf @Beanz

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way mate. If you can talk with someone you trust and are comfortable with about how you're feeling. If I had one piece of advise to give it would be to start putting yourself 1st. Don't be a c-nt, but look after yourself first.

Plus everyone here, is here for ya. We all talk sh-t at times but are really one big dysfunctional family. Chin up boss.

[walrus]

I feel like I am done with life. 54 + years. I have done many many things and I have gone to many many places and I have suffered through many many trials and tribulations and hardships and I don't regret any of it because it was an incredibly mind-blowing learning experience all the way through from a very emotionally tough childhood filled with anxiety and fears and lack of self-esteem all the way through college and then about 18 years of struggling hard from one clerical job to another in New York City and in New Jersey and then finally reengineering myself in 2006 to become an ESL instructor and travel the world. Now I am back in the United States for a little over 3 years and the feeling of emptiness in the feeling of getting older and your body starts to have some aches and pains and you try hard to do Sprints and to do push-ups into work out and to watch what you eat and to drink plenty of water and to try to get good sleep but it just starts to get very tiresome and it just starts to get very depressing and it just starts to get very empty and Melancholy and you just start to feel very unmotivated about anything anymore and you start to really not care about anything anymore because it seems like the same old song and dance outside in the streets and in the news and in everyday life again and again and again and you drive past the cemeteries when you are on the bus or on the train and you see tens of thousands of tombs and Graves and grave sites and the wind is blowing in the gray sky above the cemeteries through the graveyards the grey wind and the Cool Grey sky in the brooding clouds of silver and white and you wonder where all the souls have gone and where we are going and how futile everything is here

@Gandalf @Beanz

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way mate. If you can talk with someone you trust and are comfortable with about how you're feeling. If I had one piece of advise to give it would be to start putting yourself 1st. Don't be a c-nt, but look after yourself first.

Plus everyone here, is here for ya. We all talk sh-t at times but are really one big dysfunctional family. Chin up boss.

don’t feed into his attention seeking nonsense he makes everyone around him miserable fuck him he deserves every iota of misery that crosses his spiteful, bigoted pea sized brain

[Alpha]

I feel like I am done with life. 54 + years. I have done many many things and I have gone to many many places and I have suffered through many many trials and tribulations and hardships and I don't regret any of it because it was an incredibly mind-blowing learning experience all the way through from a very emotionally tough childhood filled with anxiety and fears and lack of self-esteem all the way through college and then about 18 years of struggling hard from one clerical job to another in New York City and in New Jersey and then finally reengineering myself in 2006 to become an ESL instructor and travel the world. Now I am back in the United States for a little over 3 years and the feeling of emptiness in the feeling of getting older and your body starts to have some aches and pains and you try hard to do Sprints and to do push-ups into work out and to watch what you eat and to drink plenty of water and to try to get good sleep but it just starts to get very tiresome and it just starts to get very depressing and it just starts to get very empty and Melancholy and you just start to feel very unmotivated about anything anymore and you start to really not care about anything anymore because it seems like the same old song and dance outside in the streets and in the news and in everyday life again and again and again and you drive past the cemeteries when you are on the bus or on the train and you see tens of thousands of tombs and Graves and grave sites and the wind is blowing in the gray sky above the cemeteries through the graveyards the grey wind and the Cool Grey sky in the brooding clouds of silver and white and you wonder where all the souls have gone and where we are going and how futile everything is here

@Gandalf @Beanz

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way mate. If you can talk with someone you trust and are comfortable with about how you're feeling. If I had one piece of advise to give it would be to start putting yourself 1st. Don't be a c-nt, but look after yourself first.

Plus everyone here, is here for ya. We all talk sh-t at times but are really one big dysfunctional family. Chin up boss.

don’t feed into his attention seeking nonsense he makes everyone around him miserable fuck him he deserves every iota of misery that crosses his spiteful, bigoted pea sized brain

Cool mate, you had me in hysterics with about the bus convo's, but at the end of the day we are all just people. There's no need for me to be a d-ck if the man's hurting. If it's all a con, hey I didn't lose anything. If it's not, I haven't made it worse.

[brocktonblockbust]

Looks like you are the odd one out Walrus

[brocktonblockbust]

@Alpha thanks mate you're a good guy. You know ENNUI is a tough pill to swallow. every action you take when you put one foot in front of the other or when you move one hand to pick up an object or when you wake up you go to bed one more time just disappears and vanishes before your eyes like Dust in the Wind

it's an age-old obsession by every philosopher and poet there ever was and there ever will be and there is no answer to it but it seems to me that if we keep that in our minds then we will be more ready for that final moment when it comes

[Memphis]

Just to confirm, the beer thread is a good idea. I not sure about this 60 seconds limit though. Savour it, enjoy it, don't be a slave to the clock.