Any good jokes ????

[Master]

My wife accused me of being a transvestite, so i packed her things and left.

[Master]

Met a bloke who claimed he is a limb stretcher, think he is pulling my leg.

[Master]

Like many people I had no idea what to do after leaving school but eventually I decided to walk home.

[Beanflicker]

What's the difference between a joke and three 10" black cocks?

Master's mum couldn't take a joke.

[Xwetie]

In one study it was found that 9 of 10 like group rape .

[Xwetie]

The best thing with having sex with a 16 year old is that you can pretend she's younger

[Master]

Just given my niece away at her wedding. "She used to be a man!" I shouted.

[Dia bando]

My friend asked me how do I stop my girlfriend wanting sex all the time,! marriage mate.

[Xwetie]

Once it was a woman, who's husband worked in the armey, so he visited her max 2 times a year... so after a while... she begun to miss the sex, so she went to a dildo-store, to buy a vibrator.
In the shop, it was alot of vibrators... and the woman was new on this area, so she asked a man who worked in the store, he showed her a glass vibrator, and said "this is a very good vibrator, but if it breaks... it will hurt alot", so they whent to another, but she couldnt find one she liked... after a while she saw a wooden box who was on a table, and she asked "whats in that box?", and the man answered, "this is a magic vibrator, just say "magic vibrator, and then the area u want to be vibrated", she thaught that sounded nice, so she bought it... while she was driving home, she took up the vibrator and said "magic vibrator, my shoulders", and it started vibrating her shoulders... after a while she felt so good, so she screamed "MAGIC VIBRATOR, MY PUSSY!!!" and it started vibrating her pussy, then she got an orgasm, and crashed into a car... when the police arrived, he asked here "why did u crash into the car?" and she answered "well.... i bought this magic vibrator... and i made it vibrate my shoulders.. and after a while.. i made it vibrate my pussy, then i got an orgasm and crashed into the car...", then the police laughed and said "hahaha, magic vibrator... my ass!"

[Xwetie]

Jim and Roger were patients in a Mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped in to
the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Roger promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and
pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of
Rogers heroic act he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the
hospital, considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Roger the news he said, "Roger, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since
you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think
you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved,
hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry,
but he's dead."

Roger replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

[Spicoli]

So intrusive in a fight you'll be seeing double

[TitoFan]

Two dim bulb friends are walking back from the candy store and one of them says to the other:

Dim Bulb 1 - "If you guess how many chocolates I have hidden behind my back I'll give you both of them."

Dim Bulb 2 - (concentrating real hard) "Three?"

[Sleepwalker]

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop?

He spend the entire weekend giving out IUD's

[Master]

Top 10 pun jokes

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.

Kim Kardasian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about kanye west.

Surely every car is a people carrier.

What’s the difference between hippo and Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably would not go.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with 2 fishes and a loaf of bread. That is not a miracle. That’s tapas.

Red sky at night. Sheppard delight.
Blue sky at night. Day.

The first time I met my wife I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.

Clowns divorce.
Custardy battle.

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for...

[Master]

The Germans have decided to print the euro on a new kind of paper. it will be Greece-proof.