Joke

[Lords Gym]

enjoyed it ! cc #339

[Lords Gym]

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.


This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.


We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

[BoxingGorilla]

I remember this tired ass joke from when I was a kid but it always made me laugh...

Q: What was Tattoos (fantasy island) favorite flavor of bubble gum?














A: DA PLAIN!

[Lords Gym]

I remember this tired ass joke from when I was a kid but it always made me laugh...

Q: What was Tattoos (fantasy island) favorite flavor of bubble gum?














A: DA PLAIN!

LOL.. the cheesier the better ! I love it

[Lords Gym]

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them



When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.


Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

[TheBESTP4P]

speaking of your avator: BEVERLY HILLS NINJA

remember the jokes in that flick?

when chris farley says if i teach you karate you must obey my every word and not question me?

chris rock replies: no problem i was raised CATHOLIC

[TheBESTP4P]

also.......


I must travel to the HILLS OF BEVERLY to seek mz. Sally Jones

[TheBESTP4P]

and when he checks into the beverly hills hotel and the concierge is all like you'd you like for me to have some one bring Dom Perignon up to your suite sir?


Chris Farley replies: I am quite tired right now, perhaps later I will like to meet your friend Dom Perignon

[Bomp]

Why do dogs lick their own testicles?















Because they can.

[X]

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would just be gibberish, surely?"

[Sovereign]

Why did the nazis invent swastikas?

So they could crucify spastics


Whats 4ft10 and lives off dead beatles?

Yoko Ono.

[TheBESTP4P]

Why did the nazis invent swastikas?

So they could crucify spastics


Whats 4ft10 and lives off dead beatles?

Yoko Ono.

[TheBESTP4P]

CC #22 SOV

[Sovereign]

right back atcha cc+

Whats black blue and hates sunlight?

the little boy I've got chained up in my basement.


What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?

An erection.


What do you do if you see an epileptic in the bath?

Put a strobe light on and chuck your washing in with him.


What do you call a dog with no arms, no legs that floats?

a SEAL!!!


Whats big and small at the same time.

a big egg.

[Oggie]

Tricking a Nun...

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

-------------------------------

Lil' Johnny And Politics...

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."