Serious post by me - am i doing the right thing?

**Mad_Dog** · 07-11-2006 05:03 PM

depends how old the children are. I would take them to the service but not the actual funeral.

**TyBuff** · 07-11-2006 09:43 PM

First thing, condolences to you and your family.

I have three children myself and I would take them. I would just sit in the back for an easy escape (if need be) and it would limit their ability to see what is happening. If you take them to the grave site, again just stay in the back. It limits what they can see, plus if the 4 yr old will probably play with the grass and the bugs. I wouldn't worry about it too much, like some people have already said they are young enough to not remember much about the actual funeral. Besides if the wife is saying to take them you will end up in a huge fight if you don't.

**Mark TKO** · 07-11-2006 09:50 PM

Tough one when it's his last wish

It seems like you by not allowing it are going against the wishes of the deceased - which no one ever wants to do

then again I'm sure he wouldn't want any of the kids being upset by it in the future.

but as has been said above i reckon your kids are young enough no to care what is actually going on - so maybe not such a bad move to let them go

had your eldest been 3 or 4 years older then I think it would have been a big No No

probably haven't helped at all here have I....

X · 07-11-2006 10:21 PM

Emma - what would your cousin do?

The answer will then be the opposite of that.

**Munkymagic** · 07-11-2006 10:44 PM

Cheers for all your replies guys clicks all round. What i am going to do is take him (i say him because its the 4 year old boy i'm worried about ,not so much the 7 month old girl) to the church service but sit at the back, if things get a bit heavy or if i dont feel its right we are going to nip out and play eye spy or something as memphis suggested. I am not taking him to the crematorium (he is being cremated) as i don't want him to see and feel that sort of emotion just yet. You're right he may well be bored but he is a sensitive little chap and he wont want to see the people he loves upset including his mummy. Have discussed this with my wife and now she also thinks this is for the best.

After that its booze for me at the wake and he gets to play with all his cousins

Once again folks thanks for the replies

**Munkymagic** · 07-11-2006 10:46 PM

Originally Posted by X

Emma - what would your cousin do?

The answer will then be the opposite of that.

ha ha click to you too mate

**Memphis** · 07-11-2006 11:29 PM

I think Emma's cousins answer would be "What kids?"

Glad to hear its sorted mate

**BIG H** · 07-12-2006 02:13 AM

Originally Posted by Munky

Cheers for all your replies guys clicks all round. What i am going to do is take him (i say him because its the 4 year old boy i'm worried about ,not so much the 7 month old girl) to the church service but sit at the back, if things get a bit heavy or if i dont feel its right we are going to nip out and play eye spy or something as memphis suggested. I am not taking him to the crematorium (he is being cremated) as i don't want him to see and feel that sort of emotion just yet. You're right he may well be bored but he is a sensitive little chap and he wont want to see the people he loves upset including his mummy. Have discussed this with my wife and now she also thinks this is for the best.

After that its booze for me at the wake and he gets to play with all his cousins

Once again folks thanks for the replies

Hope it all goes off okay fella (well as well as these things can)