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  1. #1
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    Default Shit index

    Got sent this little 'shit' chart!
    Ghost Shit

    You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.


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    Teflon Coated Shit

    Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper. you have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!


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    Gooey Shit

    This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.


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    Second Thought Shit

    You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.


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    Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit

    This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.


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    Bali Belly Shit

    You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.


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    Right Now Shit

    You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.


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    King Kong or Commode Choker Shit

    This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.


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    Wet Cheeks Shit

    This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.


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    Wish Shit

    You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!


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    Cement Block or Oh God Shit

    You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.


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    Snake Shit

    This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.


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    Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)

    Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.


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    Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)

    You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.


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    Beer Drunk Shit

    This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.


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    The Frightened Turtle

    The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in


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    The Bungee Shit

    The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.


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    The Ring of Fire Shit

    The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.


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    The Crippler

    The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.


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    The Big Bobber

    The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.


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    The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

    The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.


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    The Incredible Hulk Shit

    The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.


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    The Jack the Ripper Shit

    The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.


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    The Party Pooper

    The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.


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    The Toxic Gas Shit

    The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.


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    Dirty Bowl Shit

    The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.


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    The Windy City Shit

    When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.


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    Oh Shit! Shit

    You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!


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    The Never Ending Shit

    It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

    I will die at my post , on the streets or in prison

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Shit index

    ha ha ha ha ha ha




    i never realised there was so many types of shit, you missed some though...



    marbles.



    and




    corn on the cob.

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Classic...LOL....this was great.....so true!!!1 cc...
    It feels good to be back home.

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    ha ha ha ha ha ha




    i never realised there was so many types of S***, you missed some though...



    marbles.



    and




    corn on the cob.
    ...ever the lady
    God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I'll say it again, God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in I-ching, I don't believe in bible, I don't believe in tarot, I don't believe in Hitler, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't believe in Kennedy, I don't believe in Buddha, I don't believe in mantra, I don't believe in Gita, I don't believe in yoga, I don't believe in kings, I don't believe in Elvis, I don't believe in Zimmerman, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me!!


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    Default Re: Shit index

    im very classy actually!! lol



    hello big H!

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    im very classy actually!! lol



    hello big H!
    Allo sweetness
    God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I'll say it again, God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in I-ching, I don't believe in bible, I don't believe in tarot, I don't believe in Hitler, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't believe in Kennedy, I don't believe in Buddha, I don't believe in mantra, I don't believe in Gita, I don't believe in yoga, I don't believe in kings, I don't believe in Elvis, I don't believe in Zimmerman, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me!!


  7. #7
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    Default Re: Shit index

    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    ha ha ha ha ha ha




    i never realised there was so many types of shit, you missed some though...



    marbles.



    and




    corn on the cob.
    Hahaha,so what's that then?

    Marbles

    Say's it all really,feels like loads of them dropping out!


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Corn on the cob

    Normal shit but with a piece of corn in it.You havn't eaten corn in months.Where the Fuck did that come from?

    I will die at my post , on the streets or in prison

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    Default Re: S*** index

    I got a book called 'you are what you shite' with loads of these in

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    Default Re: Shit index

    Forgot

    The Festival shit

    Usually a combination of at least 5 of the above but in a plastic porta-loo that 300 people have used before you and without the benefit of toilet roll!!
    I will die at my post , on the streets or in prison

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Don't get me started on Porta cabin Toliets... for about a year of my life I used them more than real toliets... :P

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Quote Originally Posted by AdamGB
    Don't get me started on Porta cabin Toliets... for about a year of my life I used them more than real toliets... :P
    Was it because you had to,or was it just a fetish and did you have some kind of death wish and had to go in one whenever you walked past a building site?
    I will die at my post , on the streets or in prison

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    Default Re: S*** index

    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H
    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    im very classy actually!! lol



    hello big H!
    Allo sweetness







  13. #13
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    Default Re: S*** index

    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    Quote Originally Posted by BIG H
    Quote Originally Posted by rebekah
    im very classy actually!! lol



    hello big H!
    Allo sweetness











    God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I'll say it again, God is a concept, By which we can measure, Our pain, I don't believe in magic, I don't believe in I-ching, I don't believe in bible, I don't believe in tarot, I don't believe in Hitler, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't believe in Kennedy, I don't believe in Buddha, I don't believe in mantra, I don't believe in Gita, I don't believe in yoga, I don't believe in kings, I don't believe in Elvis, I don't believe in Zimmerman, I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me!!


  14. #14
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    Default Re: Shit index


  15. #15
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    Default Re: Shit index

    Having to shit when your in the car is the worse. It happened to me last year when I was delivering pizza. I contemplated swallowing my pride and asking the owner of the house I just delivered to If I could use the bathroom. but for some reason I decided to hold it and hope I made it back to work. three minutes in to a ten minute car ride I knew I wasn't gonna make it. I ended up doing 70 mph down a residential street sitting on one foot with my head out the window.























    I Just made it!!!
    &quot;WE ARE HERE TO HELP EACH OTHER GET THROUGH THIS THING, WHATEVER IT IS&quot;<br /><br />Kurt Vonnegut

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