Predictions for 2007

[superheavyrhun]

OK, so as there is all these awards for what happened in 2006, I thought I'd start a thread with things that might happen, and might not happen in 2007.

IN BOXING:
========

1) Sam Peter pounds Toney to a pulp in the new year, but Toney still claims that he was the winner and that he was robbed when it went to the cards.
2) Hatton calls out Floyd Mayweather, then goes on to fight someone not quite on that level.
3) Wladimir Klitschko beats any champion that will step in the ring with him, and then gets knocked out by some feather-fisted hopeful who only got the fight at the very last minute because of a drop out by an injured Shannon Briggs...with a severe asthma attack.
4) Roy Jones succesfully defends his NABO title against another boxer of the caliber of Prince Badi Ajamu.
5) Peter Manfredo Jr knocks out Joe Calzaghe in 2 torrid rounds at the Millenium Stadium, before beating Kessler in Copenhagen to unify the division.
6) Bernard Hopkins retires after outpointing Nikolai Valuev in August, then comes out of retirement. Again.
7) and finally.... Floyd Mayweather beats another of the champions to be put before him, yet still receives criticism from some quarters for not looking to KO the opponent after winning every round.

AND ON THE SADDO FORUM:
=====================

1) Violent Demise comes over all lovey-dovey, and hands out CC's like sweets at a pantomime, complimenting everyone on their accurate analysis that Mexico is not the greatest boxing nation in the world.
2) Killersheep's Sportsbook becomes so popular that the rest of the forum is sacrificed so that the competition can have the bandwidth dedicated to it.
3) Wacko is hijacked by a big TV company and replaces Larry Merchant as boxing pundit, but receives criticism for punctuating the commentary with insightful comments, instead of Merchant's drivel.
4) Lyle decides that Britain is a boxing hotbed and that anyone who hasn't beaten a Brit is just another over-hyped American.
5) Saddo's great plan for a sporting empire website falls to dust, as www.saddodarts.com is a massive flop.
6) An outbreak of MMA-itis sees the main boxing board deserted in a fit of desperation at the state of the Heavyweight division.
7) and finally....a section of the website is opened up to explain sarcasm!

Good evening all, and greetings for a profitable new year.

[diamonddavestafford]

[quote=superheavyrhun ]
OK, so as there is all these awards for what happened in 2006, I thought I'd start a thread with things that might happen, and might not happen in 2007.

IN BOXING:
========

1) Sam Peter pounds Toney to a pulp in the new year, but Toney still claims that he was the winner and that he was robbed when it went to the cards.
2) Hatton calls out Floyd Mayweather, then goes on to fight someone not quite on that level.
3) Wladimir Klitschko beats any champion that will step in the ring with him, and then gets knocked out by some feather-fisted hopeful who only got the fight at the very last minute because of a drop out by an injured Shannon Briggs...with a severe asthma attack.
4) Roy Jones succesfully defends his NABO title against another boxer of the caliber of Prince Badi Ajamu.
5) Peter Manfredo Jr knocks out Joe Calzaghe in 2 torrid rounds at the Millenium Stadium, before beating Kessler in Copenhagen to unify the division.
6) Bernard Hopkins retires after outpointing Nikolai Valuev in August, then comes out of retirement. Again.
7) and finally.... Floyd Mayweather beats another of the champions to be put before him, yet still receives criticism from some quarters for not looking to KO the opponent after winning every round.

Diamond Dave's fight predictions (and wish list as some of these fights are not signed or in talks) for 2007

1) Toney completely outclasses and outpoints Sam "Shrek" Peter in a one sided UD, coming in for the first time in the heavyweight division in-shape due to new trainer Billy Blanks' taebo workouts and the fact that Billy manually syphens the fat out of Toney's ass in a strange form of oral ass kissing liposuction.

2) Floyd Mayweather UD over Oscar Delahoya as Golden Boy cannot get him to engage and trade punches. Oscar loses but is never once hurt during the fight. Floyd cries and retires but announces his comeback the next day. Oscar goes to work on his new latin-pop record...until he decides to make one more run against Winky Wright in 2008. Winky sits around and does nothing until then because no one good wants to fight him for the right money.

3) Joe Calzaghe murders Peter Manfredo, who according to him is ready and on the level but Jermaine Taylor is not. Calzaghe still avoids a fight with Kessler.

4) Jermaine Taylor murders Sergio Mora with "Bad Intentions", knocking him out in the second round. Mora stays true to his word on the Contender and retires from boxing.

5) In a surprise upset, Klitschko is knocked out when his suspectful chin is found in a lottery punch by an aging Evander Holyfield in the 8th round as W.K. starts to run out of gas from pounding on the iron skull of "The Real Deal". When Larry Merchant asks Holyfield how it felt to punch out such a beautiful man, Evander replies ever so eloquently, as he did after losing to James Toney a couple years back, "Abba-dooba-dabba".

6) Despite the fact that most want to see him fight Joe Calzaghe, Bernard Hopkins gets his heavyweight title shot and runs away with a 12 round clinic against Oleg Maskaev who clearly doesnt know what to do against an opponent who can box like "The Executioner" can.

7) Nicolai Valuev fights another bum but then is expelled from boxing when it is uncovered that he is really the legendary "Abominable Snowman" from the Himalayas, just completely shaven to appear more human. He is then called out to fight in a "Super Heavyweight/Super Human Division" by Shaquille O'neal, who it turns out, is really Bigfoot and has shaved himself in the same manner. The winner gets to be the new spokesmodel for Gillete's Mach X razor, which features 10 blades and a razor head so big it only can work on people with gigantic faces and craniums like Shaq and Nic.

Miguel Cotto and Antonio Margarito meet in a titanic welterweight showdown that is reminiscent of Hagler and Hearns' legendary fistic nuclear war. It is a toe-to-toe battle the whole fight and a shoe-in for Fight of the Year, culminating in the questionable stoppage of Margarito in round 12...and a rematch lwhich leads into one of the bloodiest and most hard hitting boxing trilogies to date.

9) Proving every great fighter has at least one great fight left in them, Roy Jones Jr. regains the light heavyweight title against Clinton Woods, outpointing him in what is sure to be the last showy, elusive and brilliant performance of the man most believed to be completely shot as a fighter. Jones retires light heavyweight champion.

10) Ricky Hatton surprises everyone by fighting a quality opponent for him in the form of Zab Judah. In a stylistically interesting fight, Hatton doesnt surprise anyone by moving to outwork Judah from the get-go but is outboxed and fatigued by the time the time the ninth round comes to a close. Judah DOES surprise, instead of gassing out early as he did against Mayweather, he boxes smart and doesnt really turn it on until round ten where his power and left handed awkwardness prove too much for a winded Ricky Hatton, who is knocked out for the first time in his career by a huge left hook that catches him as he comes in too slow to smother Zab's punches. Judah redeems himself for his back to back losses to Baldomir and Mayweather...unfortunately when Ricky comes to congratulate him after the match, Zab hits him squayyyyahhhh in the nuuuuuuuuuuuutts. This causes Hatton's corner to storm the ring, at which point Joel Judah comes in and starts slugging people and the Judah camp gets fined again.

[superheavyrhun]

Nice work dave! If you look back at your post though you'll see why my lists always end at 7, cause to put an 8 followed by a ) ends up in Have a cc and keep up the work!

[Wacko3205]

AND ON THE SADDO FORUM:
=====================

1) Violent Demise comes over all lovey-dovey, and hands out CC's like sweets at a pantomime, complimenting everyone on their accurate analysis that Mexico is not the greatest boxing nation in the world.

No way in hell that happens...not unless he has a total metro-breakdown & CuteMick takes him under his wing as a he-bitch man-slave of concubine proportions.

VD is just to hardcore for anything resembling love...unless you get him drunk...& then...maybe with some metro-sweet talk from CuteMick could he become the greatest he-bitch man-slave of concubine proportions to ever grace the halls of saddoboxing.com.

Anything's possible...which brings me...to this:

3) Wacko is hijacked by a big TV company and replaces Larry Merchant as boxing pundit, but receives criticism for punctuating the commentary with insightful comments, instead of Merchant's drivel.

Priceless...I'd love to get wasted & go toe to toe with Merchant. As much as I love him...he's turned into the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet.

I'd give one of me tes-tockels to drop about 5 or 6 shots & get suited up as a commentator beside him.

He'd be wearing more crown than he could shoot.

[CutMeMick]

3) Wacko is hijacked by a big TV company and replaces Russel Simons as boxings 'pound it' boy, but receives criticism for punctuating the commentary with insightful comments, on his experiences in 'shrimping' instead of Merchant's tactics of how to do the 'reach around'.

Good evening all, and greetings for a profitable new year.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! thats classic...
Good one...

[landmine950]

HHHmmmm

1) James "Lights out" Toney Beats Samuel Peter AGAIN. to go along with his wins over Ruiz & Rahman and then goes on to beat all heavyweights ranked 4-100 and is still denied the recognision he deserves or a Title shot at Maskaev. Breaks down during an interview after being called "fat" for the 10,000 times. Leaves sobbing "I'm just big boned!" Buys a Crispy Cream Doughnut francise,lives happily ever after.

2) Bernard Hopkins wins a HW belt in a huge PPV makes enough money to finally get his ugly teeth fixed.

3) Floyd Mayweather jr / Oscar fight has to be stopped 3 times to replace the ring canvas which Pretty Boy Floyd wears out with excessive running. PBF wins the fight without throwing a punch. Picks up a huge NIKE track show sponsership deal and makes the US track team.

4) Nicolai Valuev breaks Rocky Marciano's 49-0 record and takes his rightful place as the greatest heavyweight of all time. Goes on to unify the HW division. KO's Wlad in 5 seconds as the ref counts by two's!
Buys a huge multi-million dollar penthouse suite with balcony in the EMPIRE STATE building (see pic below of him waving to adoring New York fans)

5) Shannon Briggs (the puffer) retires to fight a series of exhibition 1 minute 4 rounders against "ButterBean" both fights must sit on stools in the middle of the ring to box.

6) Manny Pacquiao follows James Toney's lead and moves up to Heavyweight. Takes on "Big George" Foreman in his first comeback fight. George grabs the small PAK cooks him on a grilling machine and eats him, smiles and says to the crowd "NO FAT!!"

7) Larry Merchant is exposed as being a wandering drunken homeless street person who accidentally wandered behind the microphone 10 years ago and was never asked to leave.

Lyle gives up on a career in Psycology, takes job as shift leader at local McDonalds and joins the local startrek club at the rank of Klingon warrior private, second class.

9) Punisher136 gains weight,changes name to Punisher255. Along with MuchoTestosterone comes WWAYYYYYY out of the closet together they open the first all gay nude boxing club. Boxers are squirted with baby oil in a rubber ring. Guest apperances by Tommy "HIV ain't AIDS" Morrison

10) saddo/wacko bans me.

[landmine950]

LMAO @ diamond daves 5&7!!
CC comin at ya!!