Bad day today ......

[X]

Was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit.

A minute later,some guy did exactly the same.

I said to him "I just did that"

So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.

[LEGION]

LMAO ; good one man, I like that. CC

[taansend]

That joke's so old, the first time I heard it a bloke slipped in T-Rex shit

[LEGION]

That joke's so old, the first time I heard it a bloke slipped in T-Rex S***

Unfortunately I don't get out of my cave very often so it's new to me. Unless it's so old I forgot about hearing it

[X]

What are the three best things about Alzheimer's Disease?

1. You can laugh at all the old jokes.
2. You can laugh at all the old jokes.

[LEGION]

I damn near took the bait on that one

[X]

A Smartie is constantly bullied by the other sweets. He can't socialise at all because everytime he does he's beaten up to within an inch of his life. After a particularly bad beating he decides,
"That's it! I'm never going out again."
His friends, the Jelly Babies, come over and try to convince him to reconsider. They tell him that if he comes out with them they'll stand up for him if anyone tries to beat him up. After much persuasion the Smartie agrees and they go to their local pub.
They just get in the door when a group of Lockets come over and start beating the life out of the poor Smartie. The Jelly Babies just head to the bar and order drinks. The Smartie finally escapes and comes over to them.
"What the hell was that? You promised you'd stand up for me!"
The Jelly Babies nod apologetically.

"We know man. But those lads are fucking menthol!"

[Scrap]

Top Man x cc

[X]

In an interview about his failed marriage, Sir Paul McCartney
was asked if he would ever go down on one knee again

In response he said, "I'd prefer it if you called her Heather."

[Kel]

That joke's so old, the first time I heard it a bloke slipped in T-Rex shit

Good one