Probably not going to get a response,but

[Trainer Monkey]

Feur and I have been competing against each other in one form of martial combat or another the entire time we've been together.
Wether the SCA or sparring
Sooner or later we'll hit eachother with shots you could go to jail for,and then it just escalates.
We dote over eachother the rest of the time,but if you puts sticks in our hands,or gloves on our hands,all hell is breaking loose.
Anybody else deal with this,or is it just us?

[iceman]

you mean you hurt each other intentionally? or accidental as in the fog of war type thing?

[Trainer Monkey]

you mean you hurt each other intentionally? or accidental as in the fog of war type thing?

Oh most definitly fog of war
Somebody will land something good,and the other persons ego cant take it,and then the brawl begins
Its a combination rage/utmost respect

[iceman]

odd that is why i don't like people i know watch me fight or compete...they tend too not like what i become...just try to tone it down a bit and maybe limit it to padded weapons or big gloves or try grappling...

[Sharla]

Can't you make a decision before you begin about how hard you go and stick to it? If you know you're going hard then at least both of you are ready for it. If you start off light and ramp it up unexpectedly then it's a little dangerous don't you think? Sparring light but fast can still be challenging.

Even in light sparring there will always be the occasional punch which is more fluent or timed that little better than others - or the one you walk into - which is harder. I find I get along much better with training partners when a significant proportion of our sparring is light because we both have a chance to see when the power is intentional, when it's not and even when being hit hard is our own fault. It's less personal.

Maybe you know all this but I just thought I'd reiterate it since being the gym midget power control has been essential for me. Plus i thought you probably wouldn't have put this post up if you didn't want others opinions.

[Trainer Monkey]

No,not with the two of us,we allways start off light,with the best of intentions of keeping it that way. Recently Talley was forced to say,"I was going to break it up,but I was afraid to get in there!"
Thats a 230 pound well musceled heavyweight saying that
Once we go,we go,it ends on the bell,not before.
Like I said,I think its the concept of your loved one drilling you,combined with natural competiveness that just sets us off eventually.
She ever learns to fight someone like she fights me,you can just forget every middle,and super middle out there,shell eat them up.
Now we're trying to learn how to harness her right.
If she had time to have a long amateur career,maybe we'd know allready,but this is learn as you go
Hopefully this stuff will be usefull down the road for training woman boxers

[Sharla]

So you two try to kill each other now and sounds like you're OK with that but when she got her nose busted sparring that dude when you weren't there you were really pissed off? How does that mesh?

She won't get very far if she's injured in training and if she injures you - or your hand is injured further - she's lost one of what sounds like a small number of sparring partners.

I doubt that is useful for fighters full stop - female or male. if she charges in with anger is if she's fighting you then she might do well - or she might walking into a big right hand since it comes at a time you wouldn't normally throw it and she KOs herself without ever seeing what hit her! Haven't we all seen that heavyweight boxer who gets excited after he knocks his opponent down once, who charges in and gets KOed himself?

Really sounds like it's be near impossible for anyone who's NOT a heavyweight to train in your gym because they'd be killed in the first sparring session. Makes it difficult to spar a large variety of people in any area where boxing isn't absolutely huge.

[Andre]

I may as well be the one..sc away
Its good its commming out now even though its just with you personally at the moment.
It's a great time to practice controlled responces, your going to have to get it out of her one way or another; emotion from ego will raise its head on another fighter eventually and will be detrimental to her clear thinking for the rest of that bout and she wont listen to a word from you in the corner, you see it happen all the time;
Practice controlling and utilizing it.

[Trainer Monkey]

I may as well be the one..sc away
Its good its commming out now even though its just with you personally at the moment.
It's a great time to practice controlled responces, your going to have to get it out of her one way or another; emotion from ego will raise its head on another fighter eventually and will be detrimental to her clear thinking for the rest of that bout and she wont listen to a word from you in the corner, you see it happen all the time;
Practice controlling and utilizing it.

BINGO BINGO BINGO
I can controll the power on my shots,even if Im grumpy,and downshift if needed,I dont know that some guy from a podunk gymn can.But she needs to see that when she steps it up,well then,it gets stepped right on up.
That happens in the ring all the time too,a fighter will find an extra gear,because you just made them need it.Hell thats what happened against her and Ngyuen,she hurt Demi bad,and Demi found an extra gear she didnt think she had,nobody thought the girl had,because now she needed it.

[Andre]

Yeah mate its a fine balancing act ego is required to acheive and progress and remove the oposition when the times ripe or as a turn around post but theres a big but if you let emotion in while training it rears it head in the same situations cause we are are creatures of subconcious habits.
Some pros get caught up in the wrong side of ego and are easily taken to a ground they then f@ck up in.
We've all seen the effects prior to the fights on words and in the ring on over agression.
Funny timing but the fit Vargas of old comes to mind as someone who could be taken off his game through it i and out of ring.

[iceman]

kinda off subject, but in places where they fight a lot, like thailand their fighters don't spar hard as the injuries would cripple them in the weekly fight....keep in mind, that although resiliant the human body can get broke down after too much hard activity...work on controlling the mind...that would be useful.try reading the book ON COMBat by lt.col Dave Grossman was recomended to me by a former olympian that was kind enough to share his time with me....it covers a lot of ground on how the body reacts particularly the nervous system to combat...also if you ever are in the area and need a sparing partner, i sit at around 200 and would be happy to help,in exchange for some coaching pointers...

[Trainer Monkey]

Alot of it is control
I have quite a bit,matter of fact there are at least two guys who's teeth would be only usable as maraca fillers if I didnt,for being a little forward with my wife.
But Im a professional,and you need to be in the buisness,and hell,they didnt get anywhere.
Weve almost got it centered in to what round things allways go south with the pair of us,if we never spar past round two,its all good.
We had to talk about that quite a bit,but we figured out,its allways the 3rd when all hell breaks loose with us.

[Sharla]

We had to talk about that quite a bit,but we figured out,its allways the 3rd when all hell breaks loose with us.

Odd that it's always the third round. Why do you think that is? I've had sparring partners who react badly if they're getting tagged when other people watch. I've seen people loose it because mentally the pressure is too much. I know if I'm sparring someone heavier and they never move back, keep coming in no matter what I throw i have to mind my temper because even if they're not loading up I get the idea of being pushed around unfairly which is a little stupid of me I have to admit! I think it's interesting to know what you're own triggers are although mine doesn't apply much in competition against others the same weight.

If you still have the control to know what you're doing as coach in there then it's not as scary as I was thinking - especially if you can still change your style so she gets exposure to some variation rather than just doing what you always do and ramping it up out of the blue. If you're responding to her ramping it up rather than both of you spontaneously loosing it i can sort of see what you're getting at now. I was picturing something much more feral which would have me running for the hills!

[Trainer Monkey]

We had to talk about that quite a bit,but we figured out,its allways the 3rd when all hell breaks loose with us.

Odd that it's always the third round. Why do you think that is? I've had sparring partners who react badly if they're getting tagged when other people watch. I've seen people loose it because mentally the pressure is too much. I know if I'm sparring someone heavier and they never move back, keep coming in no matter what I throw i have to mind my temper because even if they're not loading up I get the idea of being pushed around unfairly which is a little stupid of me I have to admit! I think it's interesting to know what you're own triggers are although mine doesn't apply much in competition against others the same weight.

If you still have the control to know what you're doing as coach in there then it's not as scary as I was thinking - especially if you can still change your style so she gets exposure to some variation rather than just doing what you always do and ramping it up out of the blue. If you're responding to her ramping it up rather than both of you spontaneously loosing it i can sort of see what you're getting at now. I was picturing something much more feral which would have me running for the hills!

It usually looks worse then it is,sometime late in the second someone will land something a little too good,and cause the other person to take an attitude of,"Oh,thats how you want to play?" and then it just escalates from there
Even when we did medieval combat,it would happen all the time.
We've basically decided that after she comes off contact suspension,we're just going to institute an end of the second rule.Just make a decision if we're reaching the point where we should better stop.
The depressing part of being her trainer is,Ive got to maintain enough oxygen to give advise as we're sparring,while at the same time still sparring.
That,and when I find a hole in her game,Im not allowed to sit on it,I have to explain to her what it is.As a fighter the concept is totally foreign to how I want to fight,which is,find what works against your opponent and keep doing it until they can stop you.But Im not the boxer Im the trainer,so every time we spar,anything that cant be barked out between rounds,or while we're sparring gets carefully explained to her afterwards.And then it wont be there next time

[Douglas]

Feur and I have been competing against each other in one form of martial combat or another the entire time we've been together.
Wether the SCA or sparring
Sooner or later we'll hit eachother with shots you could go to jail for,and then it just escalates.
We dote over eachother the rest of the time,but if you puts sticks in our hands,or gloves on our hands,all hell is breaking loose.
Anybody else deal with this,or is it just us?

That's the sport martial arts for ya.

Back when I was in karate class, if I was technique sparring and I accidentally landed one of my shots too hard, or my opponenet moved into my shot while I was throwing hit and got hit a little hard, a quick "sorry about that" would help prevent any anger from escalating. Of course, that was just an hour-long karate session, it wasn't anything serious or competitive.