!

[Fantana]

I thought I should get a few nuggets of Gold in for when the econonmy crashes again so I went looking. I remember reading somewhere that gold can be dug out of the ground where rabbits leave it and also in the most unexpected of places. I figured my Mums garden lawn would probably be filled with gold since

A) we have a lot of problems with rabbits.
B) It would be totally unexpected

I didn't bother using a metal detector, I felt lucky. I dug for seven hours and the hole I made was so big I couldn't get out. It started to rain and I felt a cold coming on as I scurried around in the hole I made.

I managed to claw out of the hole but my Mum had got back from shopping and she started smacking me because I made a really deep (I'm talking almost 6 foot) hole in the lawn and didn't find any gold. I did find some stones though and the bones of what I presume are an ancient cat from the dinosaur period.

I didn't give up there, I went round and expected Mr Berkleys mouth next door because I thought he might have some gold teeth like those people on TV. I was watching my favourite film the one which reminds me of me, Home Alone, and saw the bad man had a gold tooth. He looks a lot like Mr Berkley so that is why I checked his mouth. He also thinks it was my fault his cat died, it wasn’t, I clearly wrote signs around my home made mine that said "HOME MADE MINE FOR CATCHING BADDIES". It was Milkies own fault for ignoring the signs and going on the mine to eat the roast ham I put on it. It’s science.

Mr. Berkleys mouth didn’t have any gold in it and he also bit me. Mr Berkley is quite mean to me, he never gives me my balls back because he says I try to kick them into his garden. I really don't, I was trying to smash his window but I keep missing.

I happened to come across an old map which shows where gold is. It seems to be from a man named Collin, it says on the front "Collins British Atlas, 1989" Atlas as we all know is that place of the ancients, and from scanning this map, it seems Atlas is actually Britain.

I got my camping gear ready, in a non-gay way, and set out into the woods to try and find the gold which is on Collins map, I hoped the badgers wouldn't eat me like they did my guinea pig, Snuggles.

Well I set up camp in the woods, it got really cold though and I couldn't dig for too long. I had my cardigan on my Mum got me for Christmas but I was still shivering, and lonely.



There was a lot of rustling and weird noises in the woods, I didn't get scared because real men, such as myself, aren't afraid of anything. I saw a toad and remembered the saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a princess. I went for the full on Frenchie, but then my mouth stung and I started frothing and hallucinating.



I still had signal on my mobile phone so I called up my best friend Brickadius Murphy and he came and made sure I didn't get engaged to the toad. Where he was the first time I got engaged I don't know.



As Brickadius Murphy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world I listen to what he says and if I don’t like it I can ignore it without him caring. But he said I should go home so we packed up my stuff and now here I am, back home without any gold.

It’s fucking shit.

[Kev]

I'm disappointed, I've always prided myself on being Saddo's craziest and most eccentric forum member, you come back and eclipse me in just two posts

Another great story though, why not take the frog home, she should be able to sort out Gary for you

[Snakey]

THE MOONROCK RETURNS!

[Sharla]

Have you planned another epic voyage yet? I think Bilbo mentioned wanting to search for a live dinosaur - perhaps the two of you should plan something?

[Kev]

Have you planned another epic voyage yet? I think Bilbo mentioned wanting to search for a live dinosaur - perhaps the two of you should plan something?

That's a special trip I'm only taking with Boxing Gorilla. He's the only other person who believes

[Sharla]

That's a special trip I'm only taking with Boxing Gorilla. He's the only person who believes

Oh sorry Bilbo. I shouldn't randomly invite members on your expedition without permission.

What if though you need Fantana's frog kissing talents to magically reveal the opening of T-Rex's secret lair?!?! He may be a great asset to you!

Perhaps you can ask him to earn his passage with some sort of initiation ritual?

[Kev]

Oh sorry Bilbo. I shouldn't randomly invite members on your expedition without permission.

What if though you need Fantana's frog kissing talents to magically reveal the opening of T-Rex's secret lair?!?! He may be a great asset to you!

Perhaps you can ask him to earn his passage with some sort of initiation ritual?

Come on now there's no T-Rex's out there, do you know nothing of cryptozoology?

We'll either go to Africa to hunt Mokele Mbembe or Canada and look for Ogo Pogo.

Gorrila obviously wants to scope out the Washington State wilderness for signs of Bigfoot and i'd like to investigate the Michigan Dog Man.

Of course BG really wants to go UFO hunting as well so we'll be kept busy.

You're welcome to tag along, your expertise in botany would help us know what mushrooms to eat and what ones to give to Legion. He's coming of course, we are going to use him as bait.

[USA LOVES THE KLITSCHKOS]

You been licking that damn toad ?

[Sharla]

Come on now there's no T-Rex's out there, do you know nothing of cryptozoology?

We'll either go to Africa to hunt Mokele Mbembe or Canada and look for Ogo Pogo.

Gorrila obviously wants to scope out the Washington State wilderness for signs of Bigfoot and i'd like to investigate the Michigan Dog Man.

Of course BG really wants to go UFO hunting as well so we'll be kept busy.

You're welcome to tag along, your expertise in botany would help us know what mushrooms to eat and what ones to give to Legion. He's coming of course, we are going to use him as bait.

Ahh see I have an aversion to cold climates so I think i'll have to decline. However if you, Boxing Gorilla and Legion would like to start on your voyage and keep me updated via the forum I'll be glad to offer whatever mushroom advice I can.

That way if I give you guys bad advice and have you halucinating on your magic mushrooms or just sick and POd I'm a safe distance away, in a nice warm, dry area eating a Parmy.

[Kev]

Ahh see I have an aversion to cold climates so I think i'll have to decline. However if you, Boxing Gorilla and Legion would like to start on your voyage and keep me updated via the forum I'll be glad to offer whatever mushroom advice I can.

That way if I give you guys bad advice and have you halucinating on your magic mushrooms or just sick and POd I'm a safe distance away, in a nice warm, dry area eating a Parmy.

It's ok Legion is being brought along in the official capacity of flora canary. He's also a spider expert and breeds snakes so a valuble man in the jungle.

That's why we are going to Canada last. We need him in Africa and Washington first before we chop him up and use him to go monster fishing.

[Spicoli]

Haa.Thats pretty rich........Photo's for a complete Adventure..Nice change of pace.

[boozeboxer]

Come on now there's no T-Rex's out there, do you know nothing of cryptozoology?

We'll either go to Africa to hunt Mokele Mbembe or Canada and look for Ogo Pogo.

Gorrila obviously wants to scope out the Washington State wilderness for signs of Bigfoot and i'd like to investigate the Michigan Dog Man.

Of course BG really wants to go UFO hunting as well so we'll be kept busy.

You're welcome to tag along, your expertise in botany would help us know what mushrooms to eat and what ones to give to Legion. He's coming of course, we are going to use him as bait.

doesn't botony pertain to plants and the mushroom is a fungus??

[Kev]

doesn't botony pertain to plants and the mushroom is a fungus??

You could be right but I'm sure Sharla knows a bit about mushrooms.

She's a clever girl

Anyway isn't a fungus a plant? I mean it grows in the ground right, and you can plant them........

[brucelee]

I thought I should get a few nuggets of Gold in for when the econonmy crashes again so I went looking. I remember reading somewhere that gold can be dug out of the ground where rabbits leave it and also in the most unexpected of places. I figured my Mums garden lawn would probably be filled with gold since

A) we have a lot of problems with rabbits.
B) It would be totally unexpected

I didn't bother using a metal detector, I felt lucky. I dug for seven hours and the hole I made was so big I couldn't get out. It started to rain and I felt a cold coming on as I scurried around in the hole I made.

I managed to claw out of the hole but my Mum had got back from shopping and she started smacking me because I made a really deep (I'm talking almost 6 foot) hole in the lawn and didn't find any gold. I did find some stones though and the bones of what I presume are an ancient cat from the dinosaur period.

I didn't give up there, I went round and expected Mr Berkleys mouth next door because I thought he might have some gold teeth like those people on TV. I was watching my favourite film the one which reminds me of me, Home Alone, and saw the bad man had a gold tooth. He looks a lot like Mr Berkley so that is why I checked his mouth. He also thinks it was my fault his cat died, it wasn’t, I clearly wrote signs around my home made mine that said "HOME MADE MINE FOR CATCHING BADDIES". It was Milkies own fault for ignoring the signs and going on the mine to eat the roast ham I put on it. It’s science.

Mr. Berkleys mouth didn’t have any gold in it and he also bit me. Mr Berkley is quite mean to me, he never gives me my balls back because he says I try to kick them into his garden. I really don't, I was trying to smash his window but I keep missing.

I happened to come across an old map which shows where gold is. It seems to be from a man named Collin, it says on the front "Collins British Atlas, 1989" Atlas as we all know is that place of the ancients, and from scanning this map, it seems Atlas is actually Britain.

I got my camping gear ready, in a non-gay way, and set out into the woods to try and find the gold which is on Collins map, I hoped the badgers wouldn't eat me like they did my guinea pig, Snuggles.

Well I set up camp in the woods, it got really cold though and I couldn't dig for too long. I had my cardigan on my Mum got me for Christmas but I was still shivering, and lonely.



There was a lot of rustling and weird noises in the woods, I didn't get scared because real men, such as myself, aren't afraid of anything. I saw a toad and remembered the saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a princess. I went for the full on Frenchie, but then my mouth stung and I started frothing and hallucinating.



I still had signal on my mobile phone so I called up my best friend Brickadius Murphy and he came and made sure I didn't get engaged to the toad. Where he was the first time I got engaged I don't know.



As Brickadius Murphy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world I listen to what he says and if I don’t like it I can ignore it without him caring. But he said I should go home so we packed up my stuff and now here I am, back home without any gold.

It’s fucking shit.

This story is definitely better than Bilbo's poems to Julius Rain. Would like to hear more from Fantana. He's the man!!!!

[Sharla]

You could be right but I'm sure Sharla knows a bit about mushrooms.

She's a clever girl

Anyway isn't a fungus a plant? I mean it grows in the ground right, and you can plant them........

To be honest I don't know a lot about mushrooms.

When people say plant science it can be a pretty broad term though and I do know a couple of people who have worked with mushrooms.

We often use bacteria etc for our work so a general knowledge of biology comes into play a bit.

So basically I wouldn't be much help myself unless I was put on a project and asked to learn about it - then I'd have access to all the right journals.

I do have a friend who lives in the country in an area where a lot of wild mushrooms grow and I have collected them, cooked and eaten them with her.

She studied plant science too.

I can't remember how we could tell the difference between the good and bad ones now.........