My dog only responds to commands in Spanish. He’s an Espanyol.
My dog only responds to commands in Spanish. He’s an Espanyol.
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
Omg master must have bought a book of corny jokes.
Here's a good one...............Ruthless Rocco!
My cat's recovering from a massive stroke.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with 2 fishes and a loaf of bread. That is not a miracle. That's tapas.
A study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I've just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a rap.
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
The remain campaign .
Remember reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol .
Canelo.
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
They say Iceland is a place to make good savings.
Shame they did not tell that to Joe Hart.
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
Hey Europe! You look great, have you lost a few pounds?
Met the bloke who invented crosswords today. Can’t remember his name, but its P something T something R.
“I want to make a complaint”, I told the woman our supermarket. “this vinegar has got lumps in it”. “Those are pickled onions, sir” she replied.
Cowboy walks into a German car showroom and shouts “Audi”.
Asked the waiter for something herby. He gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
Phone rang, so I picked it up and asked “Who’s speaking?” Voice on the other end replied “You are.”
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
Does time fly when you are having sex or was it really just one minute?
What do you give a sick florist?
If tomatoes are a fruit isn't ketchup a smoothie?
I have CDO. It is like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be.
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
If you love someone set them free" Unless you're a prison officer dating an inmate
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
Man goes into bar and orders 20 pints of larger and drinks them as quick as the barman is pouring them.
Barman says "blimey, you are drinking them a bit quick"
Man said "So would you if you had what I had".
Barman say "what is that then?"
Man says "50p"
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
A disgruntled man was pulled over by a police officer for speeding and given a ticket.
Man said "would I get another ticket if I said you were a jerk?"
Officer said "yes"
Man said "What if I thought you were a jerk?"
Officer said "I can't give you a ticket for what you think"
Man said fine "I think you are a jerk".
Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.
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