Any good jokes ????

[Alpha]

Dad joke:

Did you know that towels are the most common cause of dry skin?

[Master]

Just remembered a word I have been thinking about for two weeks. Fortnight.

My mate went to a U2 gig and Bono demanded silence, raise his hands above his head and began to clap slowly.
"Every time I clap my hands, a child dies in Africa", he told the crowd. "Shouldn't you stop doing it then?" shouted someone.

A duck is about to cross the road when the chicken tells him "don't do it, you'll never hear the end of it".

My wife has been hitting the bottle quite hard lately. She still cant get the last bit of ketchup out.

[Batman]

Just remembered a word I have been thinking about for two weeks. Fortnight.

My mate went to a U2 gig and Bono demanded silence, raise his hands above his head and began to clap slowly.
"Every time I clap my hands, a child dies in Africa", he told the crowd. "Shouldn't you stop doing it then?" shouted someone.

A duck is about to cross the road when the chicken tells him "don't do it, you'll never hear the end of it".

My wife has been hitting the bottle quite hard lately. She still cant get the last bit of ketchup out.

Fucking hell master they are woeful even for you

[Mark TKO]

Each time Master posts in this thread it gets easier to understand why he has no friends

[Alpha]

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Broken Pencil
Broken Pencil who?



Forget it; it's pointless.

[Master]

Knock Knock
Who's There?
Broken Pencil
Broken Pencil who?



Forget it; it's pointless.

I get dogs abuse for awful jokes and alpha gets nothing for that. Come one people lets be fair.

[Master]

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short sighted and ready to charge.

If you are marooned on a desert island what record would you want?" asked the DJ on the radio. "The record for swimming the farthest!"

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Fonz. Happy days.

If you are going to hide a body, don't put it under a white tent. The police always seem to look there first.

Had my first cage fight last night. The budgie didn't know what hit him.

[X]

This was genuinly what came up on Google

[Master]

[Master]

[Master]

[Master]

[Master]

[Master]

[Master]

I come from a long line of magicians. I have two half sisters.

My wife reckons I don't listen to a word she...

growing up as an identical twin saves you a fortune on mirrors.

heard they are thinking about introducing a kebab tax. that would be a pitta bill to swallow.