Boxing Forums



User Tag List

Thanks Thanks:  1
Likes Likes:  116
Dislikes Dislikes:  1
Page 8 of 54 FirstFirst ... 67891018 ... LastLast
Results 106 to 120 of 804

Thread: Any good jokes ????

Share/Bookmark
  1. #106
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    The wife asked me " what are you doing on the computer? "
    " im looking for cheap flights." " I love you" she said,
    then she got all excited, unzipped my trousers and gave
    me the most amazing blow job ever, ....... which is odd
    because she has never shown an intrest in darts before.

  2. #107
    El Kabong Guest

    Default

    This old Granny asks her young grandson to go fetch some water from the well. The Grandson goes down to grab the water and when he looks in the well he sees an alligator, shocked he sprints back home. Granny says "what's the matter boy?" the young boy says "There's an alligator in the well!". Granny replies "Oh he's a harmless old gator, he's never hurt anyone. Heck he's probably just as scared of you as you are of him" to which the boy says "if he's as scared of me as I am of him then that water isn't fit to drink!"

  3. #108
    El Kabong Guest

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    She went thru my records and pulled out Red Headed Stranger. I stood up and said " don't touch my Willie! I don't know you that well."

  4. #109
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    64,623
    Mentioned
    1667 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    3019
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.

    Effective January 1st, 2004 your penis will be taxed according to size. The brackets are as follows:

    10"- 12" Luxury Tax..........£30.00
    8"- 10" Pole Tax.............£25.00
    5"- 8" Privilege Tax.........£15.00
    4"- 5" Nuisance Tax..........£3.00

    Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!

    Sincerely, Pecker Checker IRS

    *****NOTE*****

    We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:

    - Are there penalties for early withdrawals? - What if one's penis is self employed? - Do multiple partners count as a corporation? - Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes? - Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

  5. #110
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    64,623
    Mentioned
    1667 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    3019
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    "Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor." the husband said "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few quid myself!"
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

  6. #111
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of there own,
    its a feeling thats bound to grow stronger now he is unemployed .

  7. #112
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    64,623
    Mentioned
    1667 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    3019
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Quote Originally Posted by roberto duran legend View Post
    Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of there own,
    its a feeling thats bound to grow stronger now he is unemployed .
    And the same could be said about the Librarian Arsen Wenger and the Arsenal fans.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

  8. #113
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Up in the attic
    Posts
    26,468
    Mentioned
    447 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    4099
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    One of Goats wifes friends, goes to the doctor complaining of backache.
    The doctor tries everything every test every drug but to no avail.
    eventually he says look the only thing i can think of is your sex life maybe thats causeing your bad back; what position do you use?
    She says "oh we always do it doggie style".
    the Doc says: thats it! Why dont you try doing it Missionary position ?
    She says: "You ever smelt a Labradors breath"?
    Hidden Content " border="0" />

    I can explain it.
    But I cant understand it for you.

  9. #114
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    64,623
    Mentioned
    1667 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    3019
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Similar note.


    A woman takes her german shepherd dog to the vet. She explains that every time she bends over, the dog mounts her. All she has to do is bend down to go into the freezer, pick the mail up, clean under the table, and he is there, humping away at her.
    "What would you like me to do?" asks the vet. "Castrate him or put him down?"
    "Oh no," says the woman, "Just cut his claws please".
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

  10. #115
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Little 5 year old daisy sees a group of workmen turn up next door to build
    a house, , she starts to talk to them. The builders with hearts of gold
    adopt her as their site mascot. After a week they present her with a
    pink hard hat and gloves. Even a wage packet with £5 in it, " goodness"
    says mummy smiling , " are you working there next week"?. Daisy
    replies " I think so mummy, provided those cunts at Jewsons deliver
    the fucking bricks".

  11. #116
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    I felt really sorry for the hypnotist i saw last night. He hypnotised 7 men
    then dropped the microphone on his foot and yelled " fuck me "
    what happened next will haunt me forever.

  12. #117
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Barry Gibb has asked that Robin be buried with his twin Maurice....
    The grave digger said it depends " how deep is your bruv".

  13. #118
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    North Wales
    Posts
    9,844
    Mentioned
    391 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    888
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Just worked out I have enough money retire for the rest of my life, my money runs out a week on Friday.

  14. #119
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    64,623
    Mentioned
    1667 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    3019
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    This prisoner escapes after 15 years.
    He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed.
    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do what he tells you, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

    To which the wife responds, "he wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, and thought you were cute. He asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom, so I told him where to find it. Be strong, darling. I love you, too."
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

  15. #120
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    London
    Posts
    1,320
    Mentioned
    7 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Punch Power
    723
    Cool Clicks

    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV,
    and suddenly yells " dont enter the church you daft cunt,
    its a trap" His wife askes him " what are you watching ? "
    Husband replies " our fucking wedding video".

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Some Jokes
    By Kev in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-21-2008, 03:19 PM
  2. Jokes
    By Memphis in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-22-2007, 11:56 PM
  3. Jokes.....
    By CutMeMick in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-12-2007, 06:52 AM
  4. Where have all the bad jokes gone?
    By AdamGB in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-07-2006, 05:09 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  




Boxing | Boxing Photos | Boxing News | Boxing Forum | Boxing Rankings

Copyright © 2000 - 2024 Saddo Boxing - Boxing