Any good jokes ????

[Andre]

When God made Adam he said right you wear the plants in the family.

[Dia bando]

In my younger day's, I went on Jim'l fix it I wanted to meet Johnny Cash, I was most disappointed as
I never got to meet him, and the only thing I got was a ring of fire Hows about that then.

[Ghost]

In my younger day's, I went on Jim'l fix it I wanted to meet Johnny Cash, I was most disappointed as
I never got to meet him, and the only thing I got was a ring of fire Hows about that then.

Went up in a cloud of smoke.

[Andre]

CC I like that. I am in law school.....this is a good joke.

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
The Lawyer can stick his bill up his arse.

[Dia bando]

Just come in the house, the wife has got the washing-machine on bricks, what the hell are you doing
nothing she says, just a 45 degree wash.

[roberto duran legend]

Susan Boyle has jumped to the defence of Jimmy Savile," I appeared on Jim'll fix it
when i was 13 years old and Jim never touched me.

[Master]

Two guys at the airport who have lost their wives. One bloke says lets look together what does your wife look like?

“Well she is tall blond with a mini skirt on, long legs and high heels, tight top with nipples showing and a great round ass What does your look like? ”.

“Forget mines, let just find yours!”

[Andre]

In my younger day's, I went on Jim'l fix it I wanted to meet Johnny Cash, I was most disappointed as
I never got to meet him, and the only thing I got was a ring of fire Hows about that then.

It was his latest release

[roberto duran legend]

Got my Halloween outfit,Blonde wig,tracksuit,gold chain,and cigar.
That should scare the little fuckers.

[Ghost]

Got my Halloween outfit,Blonde wig,tracksuit,gold chain,and cigar.
That should scare the little fuckers.

Don't forget the over coat with candy clipped to the inside.

[Memphis]

Whats brown and smelly and upsetting to find in your kids bed.

Jimmy Savilles cigar.

[roberto duran legend]

It can only be a matter of time before Boris Johnson,s mum comes
forward and tells us that she was raped by Jimmy Savile in 1963.

[Dark Lord Al]

A bloke goes into a pub , goes to the bar and asks for a double brandy.

The landlord pours it and says " You look knackerd son "

The bloke replies " you would be to , ive got this woman in the car outside and i cant satisfy her , ive been shagging her all night and she still wants more , she is a right goer "

The landlord says " here drink this i will nip out and have a go "

The landlord climbs into the car and starts giving her one.

This copper taps on the window or the car and shines his torch inside.

The copper asks "whats going on here then".

The landlord says " Im sorry officer i was just giving the wife one "

The copper says " Im sorry Sir i didnt realise it was your wife "

The landlord says " To be honest i didnt , till you shined your torch in "!

[Xwetie]

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and that i would have to quit!

Then I caught her spending $65 for makeup.

She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was far.

I dont think she's comeing back!

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Whatever happend to Rihanna?

When she first started singing she was like yee mista dj song pon de replay.

And now she's like fuck me with a shovel and slap my titties.

[Andre]

Bloke has an argument with his misses and decides to get flowers on the way home she is still fuming at him and puts her hands on her hips and says "I suppose you expect me to get on my back and open my legs for those"?!!
He said "Haven't you got a vase?"