Embarrasing Injuries

[CGM]

OK, Bikersks thread gave me this idea. Lets hear about embarrasing ways you have injured yourself. Preferably badly enough that your required hospitalization, or doctor's assistance. Something that made even the doctor laugh. I'm sure Diz has a good story for this.

Anyways, I once managed to completely dislocate my shoulder while laying in bed, by myself. I was lying kind of funny, and cut loose with a wicked sneeze. It popped right out of the joint and didn't go back in. The shoulder wasn't in the best of shape to begin with, I had popped it out a couple times before.

Anyway, my roommate was in bed with some honey at the time, I had to get him up to drive me to the hospital. After waiting for a long time, in pain, a doctor comes to see me. With a big grin he says, boy that must have been one hell of a sneeze. I didn't laugh.

Anyways, the doctors had a hell of a time getting it back into place that day. A few weeks later I went under the knife to tighten up the ligaments. That was many years ago, it's been trouble free since.

[CFH]

hmmmm...

This didn't require hospitalization, but about 3 weeks ago I was drinking with a few friends. We decided to go out for a while in the early morning hours, so I got changed into some better clothes. Anyways, as I'm doing up my fly, I get the tip of my little buddy caught in the zipper. I go it unstuck, and drunk as I was, woke my girlfriend up to show her the damage.

I once put a butcher knife through my hand by accident when I was a kid, severing some tendons and almost bled to death, but I don't think that qualifies as funny. More pathetic than anything.

[Chris Nagel]

There Once was a Stupid little Shit

Back when I was a little kid (I was just one week into first grade), it was night time, most of my family were asleep and I wanted to do some arts and crafts. I was looking for some tape, and after I couldn't find any scotch-tape I settled for the big clear tape that's typically used on boxes. Now I needed some scissors, okay I can't find any so next best thing is to use a knife. I grabbed a scalpel, you know the kind of knife that cuts through flesh like butter (my mom's a nurse). Needless to say this way an accident waiting to happen...

My older sister was sitting at the kitchen table, watching the mini-tv and eating pickles about 10 feet away from me with her back turned. Now without any inhibition I grabbed the scalpel and preceded to cut the tape, the tape was smooth and the knife suddenly slipped-- it slit the skin above my thumb and as I looked at what was exposed underneath, I yelled in surprise, "Ah, I can see my bone." Now I couldn't really see the bone, just the tendon and muscle which had whitish-grey look. My sister jumped out of her seat, and upon seeing my thumb ran to wake up my parents.

Both of my parents were sleeping. They were very tired because my mother gave birth giving me another beautiful sister a little over a month ago, and babies are know to take away from a restful night. This time it was me ruining their good night sleep as they had to rush me to the hospital. I needed stiches.

My older sister put a large cotton ball over the cut, and put pressure on it for the whole drive to the hospital. My folks were pretty quite. In the waiting room my parents sat weary eyed, my mother holding my baby sister in her arms, and I felt more like shit from what I put everyone through more than than the cut itself.

The stiches didn't hurt at all. I can't remember what was said at the time, or much after that, but I was just relieved that it was over even though I knew that I was still in deep shit.

A couple of days after the calamity, I remember watching some recent Frankenstine movie, and realized I had something in common with the monster. I hate stiches.

[bikersk]

hmmmm...

This didn't require hospitalization, but about 3 weeks ago I was drinking with a few friends. We decided to go out for a while in the early morning hours, so I got changed into some better clothes. Anyways, as I'm doing up my fly, I get the tip of my little buddy caught in the zipper. I go it unstuck, and drunk as I was, woke my girlfriend up to show her the damage.

I once put a butcher knife through my hand by accident when I was a kid, severing some tendons and almost bled to death, but I don't think that qualifies as funny. More pathetic than anything.

Very funny. As a young teenager our family would eat out once a week. One night I was out of clean undies so decided to free ball. Went to the toilet in the resturant and got my dude caught in the zip - OUCH!! I managed to get it out and clean it up and went back out. I was too embarrased to tell anyone though. Just recently was pulling down an old fence and karate kicked one of the old rails in half only to have the top half hit me right in the face, all full of old nails and splinters sustained a cut eye and forehead. Installing an antenna on the side of the house i was all the way up on an old wooden ladder that the old people who used to live in the house left behind and of course the rung snapped and down i went antenna and all.......

My life is just a series of embarrasing accidents, you shouldn't have got me started

[Andre]

hmmmm...

This didn't require hospitalization, but about 3 weeks ago I was drinking with a few friends. We decided to go out for a while in the early morning hours, so I got changed into some better clothes. Anyways, as I'm doing up my fly, I get the tip of my little buddy caught in the zipper. I go it unstuck, and drunk as I was, woke my girlfriend up to show her the damage.

I once put a butcher knife through my hand by accident when I was a kid, severing some tendons and almost bled to death, but I don't think that qualifies as funny. More pathetic than anything.

Very funny. As a young teenager our family would eat out once a week. One night I was out of clean undies so decided to free ball. Went to the toilet in the resturant and got my dude caught in the zip - OUCH!! I managed to get it out and clean it up and went back out. I was too embarrased to tell anyone though. Just recently was pulling down an old fence and karate kicked one of the old rails in half only to have the top half hit me right in the face, all full of old nails and splinters sustained a cut eye and forehead. Installing an antenna on the side of the house i was all the way up on an old wooden ladder that the old people who used to live in the house left behind and of course the rung snapped and down i went antenna and all.......

My life is just a series of embarrasing accidents, you shouldn't have got me started

yep .

[Wayne]

I wasn't injured so much as shook up, but I was about 9. My brother, his friend and I were riding our bikes and on our way back I decided to race ahead when we get to our bike. We lived about in the middle of the block and I raced past to the other end on the sidewalk. I pumped my legs really fast and then stood up, coasting, when I hit a square of sidewalk that was depressed, dipping down compared to the two squares to either side of it. It must have jarred my legs when I hit down and unintentionally hit the brakes, stopping me instantaneously. Still holding on to the handlebars, I flipped over, landed on my back and knocked the wind out of myself. Stunned, I looked up to see my bike standing on its front tire about to teeter over on top of me. I had no strength. The only thing I could do was close my eyes and wait for it to fall.

All of this happened in front of a neighbors house while they must have been having a reunion of some kind because EVERYONE was outside. "Help," was the only thing I could say, sounding weak and defeated. The grandmother rushed over in her muumuu, pushed the bike off me and helped me to my feet. I had to lean on her all the way down the street back to my house while one of her granddaughters pushed my bike back. I had a couple scrapes, but my ego was more injured than anything.

[CGM]

Heh, good bike story. You know, there's one thing I learned about bicycles, always try to keep both hands on the handlebars, cause you never know when you will have to hit the brakes fast. You hit the brakes with one hand free and you will go down, guaranteed.

A few years back I was riding a ravine path with a buddy at night. One hand on the handlebar while I was doing something with the other. Suddenly a damn skunk runs right in front of me. I hit the binders with one hand, not hard, just touched them, and went flying ass over teakettle, all tangled up in my bike. Ended up with a nice little row of holes in my leg where the sprocket dug in. Not fun.

[Trainer Monkey]

My entry in to the dumbest injury Ive ever gotten series
About 5 years ago we adopted a 3 year old Pitt Bull.
Im screwing around wrestling with him, but Im also wondering what my kids up to(a constant state for the parent of a boy) and the dog jerks his head back. He catches me right in the kisser. Ive done 30 years of one form of martial combat or another. I have never seen a lip busted this bad.Especially on an impact wound. The back of his head literally busted my lip from the bottom of my nose all the way down and it spread completely open almost a half inch wide.And I should have known better,I was taught how to train dogs,and was told that with a head heavy dog,even if your playing,pay attention to their head more then anything.
Here's the problem,I had to work the wife to get her to let me adopt a Pitt as a dog(I like the breed),the dog hadnt done anything wrong,we were just playing around. But I dont want the dog to get in to trouble. My wife caught me in the bathroom trying to hold my lip back together. Even then I wouldnt go to the doctor because I was more worried about the dog getting in to trouble for me being a dork and not paying attention,so I had her drive to the Pharmacy to pick up some butterflies to hold it shut that way.
Even though I have a suprisingly small scar from it,I pay way more attention if I want to wrestle around with the dog

[leggy]

my mate hit a for sale sign the other day it spun round hit him back hes now got grazes and a black eye

[amat]

My stupidest injuries or periods of stupidity are always self inflicted. I tend to punch myself when I get adrenaline flowing, to much. One time I was playing basketball and I punched myself on the top of my head and I got super woozy. I crossed my legs like 3 times THANK GOD no one saw me. I had a headache all night and a fat knot, it was nuts.

Another time I was playing tennis and I was really frustrated and I always lick the racket I don't know why I'm wierd, I get heated and do that stuff. Anyways, one time I was super frustrated at something and I put a tennis ball in my mouth and bit all the way down. Didn't think much of it, tasted like rubber like a rubber grip or something but then when I tried to spit it out, the ball snapped my jaw open and I honestly thought I had broke it.

Felt REALLY dumb both times.

[CutMeMick]

Another time I was playing tennis and I was really frustrated and I always lick the racket I don't know why I'm wierd, I get heated and do that stuff. Anyways, one time I was super frustrated at something and I put a tennis ball in my mouth and bit all the way down. Didn't think much of it, tasted like rubber like a rubber grip or something but then when I tried to spit it out, the ball snapped my jaw open and I honestly thought I had broke it.

Well at least your not like Youzhny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzEd2ctUIas

[CutMeMick]

Embarrasing injuries...hhuuummmm....

I've told this one before in a thread about sex.

The most embarrasing would probably be the time I was having sex with my then girlfriend. We were on my bed and I had her legs up in the air were allover the bed and I was leaning/inclined towards the wall I start doing my thing and I cause her to kick her legs. She hits a frame that was on the wall and edge of the metal frame hits me on the side of my head and cuts me. I have a scar on the side of my head.

We didn't stop fucking we kept going, eventhough I was bleeding.

[CGM]

Embarrasing injuries...hhuuummmm....

I've told this one before in a thread about sex.

The most embarrasing would probably be the time I was having sex with my then girlfriend. We were on my bed and I had her legs up in the air were allover the bed and I was leaning/inclined towards the wall I start doing my thing and I cause her to kick he legs. She hits a frame that was on the wall and edge of the metal frame hits me on the side of my head and cuts me. I have a scar on the side of my head.

We didn't stop fucking we kept going, eventhough I was bleeding.

Like a true warrior.

[Andre]

My stupidest injuries or periods of stupidity are always self inflicted. I tend to punch myself when I get adrenaline flowing, to much. One time I was playing basketball and I punched myself on the top of my head and I got super woozy. I crossed my legs like 3 times THANK GOD no one saw me. I had a headache all night and a fat knot, it was nuts.

Another time I was playing tennis and I was really frustrated and I always lick the racket I don't know why I'm wierd, I get heated and do that stuff. Anyways, one time I was super frustrated at something and I put a tennis ball in my mouth and bit all the way down. Didn't think much of it, tasted like rubber like a rubber grip or something but then when I tried to spit it out, the ball snapped my jaw open and I honestly thought I had broke it.

Felt REALLY dumb both times.

You are Sol Rosenberg aren't you?

Do you remember the jerky boys those guys who started prank calls.

He had a sort of jewish/ gay /kind /queens style accent.
He'd say stuff like "Oh I like to beat myself unmerseyfull".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUdwH...eature=related

[CutMeMick]

Embarrasing injuries...hhuuummmm....

I've told this one before in a thread about sex.

The most embarrasing would probably be the time I was having sex with my then girlfriend. We were on my bed and I had her legs up in the air were allover the bed and I was leaning/inclined towards the wall I start doing my thing and I cause her to kick he legs. She hits a frame that was on the wall and edge of the metal frame hits me on the side of my head and cuts me. I have a scar on the side of my head.

We didn't stop fucking we kept going, eventhough I was bleeding.

Like a true warrior.