Funny sports stories

[OumaFan]

I ran into this guy that I used to play football with in high school and it got me thinking. He was this Korean-American guy, a big guy with the most massive head I've ever seen to this day. Anyway he only played one year but that one summer we had to do two a days which is horrible cause its Alabama, its like 105 and humid and you're wearing all these pads and helmets and its just a fucking nightmare, 6 hours a day and its so fucking hot. Anyway at the end of the day we had to do this thing where we had to sprint 100 yards one way then a 100 yards back. Then you move up five yards and sprint 95 yards one way, 95 back and so on and so on till you do two five yard sprints to end. Anyway Joe wasn't very good and was out of shape but he tried and at the end of the sprints our coach singled him out to step forward because he'd been working so hard, so he steps forward, and projectile vomits all over the place right through his face mask, all over the place.

The other was football too. One of my best friends actually. If you know anything about American football you know that if you're rushing the quarterback and you're not going to get the sack you're supposed to jump up and try to knock down the pass. Anyway were doing this drill with one guy being the offensive lineman and the other trying to deflect a pass. Anyway my friend was the offensive lineman and the other guy jumped up to try to deflect the pass and straight rammed his knee right into his nuts. Anyway after like an hour (of I assume pure agony) he has to leave the practice. Then he's not there at school the next day and I didn't even notice it. We get to practice, our coach who's this gigantic stereotypical redneck sits us down and I swear to God says "Matt's had a serious gonad injury."

Anyway he missed the entire season because of it. Nobody really knows the whole story. I always tell him that he should just go ahead and admit he only has one testicle. He maintains he has two. I laugh. Which is probably insensitive.

That might not be a funny story from a certain perspective. Anyway I was bored.

[Fenster]

Anyway.. You would never type that many words in one single post.

Anyway.. That is all.

[OumaFan]

I know that was a gigantic post

And I have for some reason gotten into using anyway too much, and "granted"

[amat]

I like the second one

I don't really have funny from myself, most of mine stem from basketball and I couldn't tell you many of them right now.

But I do have one from my brother that I always laugh at. He played on the City College of San Francisco football team back when they were just jam packed with talent. 21 of their 22 starters went to D1 schools his first year and then 18 of 22 the next year. A bunch of NFL players on that team too, most notable Gibril Wilson who was a starting safety for the Giants when they won their Super Bowl.

The big guy on that team was Chijoke Onyanagetcha (sp?) who actually was a big bust. He was a 6'3 4.4 corner who could have had his pick at any college in the country, they were actually talking about him going straight into the NFL draft and had he done that, he would have been drafted on the first day which he never was.

My brother played guard at the time and he had the assignment of pulling and picking up Chijoke one day in practice. So he pullled and picked him up and his coach just went crazy. He stopped the practice and started just tearing up my brother for not going at him hard enough. So my brother got pissed off, and the coach still kept having a go at him. Chijoke was a big guy, 6'3 and a ton of physical strength but at this time my brother had just set the bench press record at CCSF so obviously the coach was just trying to draw that out of him.

So they finally let them play, same thing and my brother just crushed him. He knocked their star player unconscious, gave him a concussion and Chijoke had to miss 2 games after that. To his credit, his own coach set up his own destruction in berading my brother like that and he knew what was coming but he still stood in for the hit and my brother wasn't unscathed either but obviously didn't get the worst of it. They lost one of those games without Chijoke either which ended up costing them the national title and Chijoke the national player of the year award. The guy who got it was Kevin Everett, the Buffalo Bill who almost lost his legs in the NFL.

[OumaFan]

Haha, I have an incredibly similar story except I knocked the shit out of a relatively unimposing 15 year old.

I was doing this pulling thing, just like your brother and I kept on running this guy over, I was a senior, he was a sophomore and not much of an athlete and so we kept on having to do it over and over again cause the coach was getting mad at him so one time I kind of let up and my coach threatened to make me run for it so the next time I knocked the bejeezus out of him, I even blacked out a little.

I would have felt bad but I really don't like running.

[CutMeMick]

IHe was this Korean-American guy, a big guy with the most massive head I've ever seen to this day.

Bigger then Baldomirs?

[CutMeMick]

Well this ones funny and at the same time one of the most amazing defensive plays I've ever witnessed.

I been playing soccer since I was 5, as some of you have seen (I created my footy thread).
About 8 yrs. when I was in my prime I played with one of the best teams State wide here in California, we faced off vs. the best teams in the state. In the finals, we played 2 games.
1st game ended 0-0 in the 2nd game we led almost the whole game 1-0 as we has scored early on. With just about 3 minutes left my mid fielder makes a horrible mistake and gives up the ball in the back it was 3 vs. 2 (defenders) the guy down the middle passes on and is left vs. the keeper 1 on 1 at the same time 1 of the defenders runs around/behind the striker and the keeper as they face off. The striker jukes the keeper and comes forward kicks the ball pretty damn! hard my defender slips because the motion was taking him one way but the shot was going the other way and I sware while on the floor he moves/rolls like a worm and with his face blocks the shot that won us the title. He bled really bad from his nose and his mouth.
One of the craziest things in sports I've ever witnessed.

[amat]

Mick that reminded me of some luck I had once. My first two years of high school we had open gym until 10 PM every night except Sundays and we would sometimes have some very good games in there, some of the best I've ever played.

One night I was playing in there, and I forget exactly what happened but there was a looseball and it was traveling back towards half court and there was still some people in the backcourt. Well I was scrambling for the ball and some douchebag was running downcourt and they KICKED the ball right back at me, right into my nuts. I went down in a heap and I landed with the ball under my chest which knocked the wind out of me. The guy (I knew him, he was a clown but didn't mean bad) was SOOOO scared, he was the only person on the court not laughing. He was bigger then me but not the fighting type at all. Neither was I but you'd never know by how I played, especially then when I was a bit over competitive and out of control. I was pissed but I got over it.

The very next night I was playing 1 on 1 with my friend Mike Dailey who was great to play 1 on 1 with because he never once in his life beat me at 1 on 1 but provided a great challenge everytime. Those games were always fun for me. Well 2 courts over they had a 5 on 5 going, I guess a ball rolled into there court and without looking someone KICKED a ball away. It went sailing in the air and you could guess in what direction. I was at the top of the key and all I could hear was HEADS and the very split second after I heard that, I had just enough time to whip my head around and before I could even look it caught me right in the ear. Unbelievable, that one was more comedy then anything but I wasn't knocked down this time, I gave chase right away haha I knew the person who kicked it they were actually playing with me the night before but I was pissed. He was laughing but I wasn't and I cornered him and starting punching his arm and he started laughing which I was a bit too but I got mad because that hurt. He kept laughing and I started hitting harder and then I punched him in the ear, right on the side of his head and pretty hard too. Right after I punched him in the ear one of the basketball coaches who ran the open gym pulled me off (he thought we were joking) and told me to cut it out or he would throw us out. So then I felt kind of bad for punching the kid in the ear for what was an accident and he wasn't laughing at the moment just called me stupid and nothing ever came of it.

One time I was playing, this was just recently, and these two asians were matched up and one of them kept swiping at the ball. Not really committing to it, just trying to break up rythym, I do it a lot it's very effective kind of like a jab to the shoulder in boxing. One time he did it and the kid with the ball swatted his hand away. The next "swipe" was a slap right to the ball handlers face. I thought they were going to fight but they didn't. I kept trying to talk to the guy who did the slap and he would say like 1 word without even looking at me, just a very mean person I guess who didn't appreciate his hand getting swatted away.

Some other things. I struck out in slow pitch softball playing with a bunch of people 3 grades older then me, some of whom were college baseball players. It was very embarrassing especially considering I wanted to talk baseball with everyone but there I was just sucking at actually playing it.

[OumaFan]

Amat you had to punch him in the ear as its not very bad ass looking to wail on a guys arm.

IHe was this Korean-American guy, a big guy with the most massive head I've ever seen to this day.

Bigger then Baldomirs?

I guess not, I forgot about that alien, this dude did have a monster though, I mean I had (have) a big head but I was able to fit into a regular helmet, they had to order him one and it was hilarious looking.

[CutMeMick]

Amat you had to punch him in the ear as its not very bad ass looking to wail on a guys arm.

IHe was this Korean-American guy, a big guy with the most massive head I've ever seen to this day.

Bigger then Baldomirs?

I guess not, I forgot about that alien, this dude did have a monster though, I mean I had (have) a big head but I was able to fit into a regular helmet, they had to order him one and it was hilarious looking.