dumb things people say

[ryanman]

Any truly jaw droppingly dumb things you have heard said/been said to you?
I was just thinking about something that made me laugh.

My friend went over to Australia a few months ago for a week. Obviously they are about 12 hours ahead of the UK. So i jokingly say to him 'oh great, while you are there find out the UK lottery results for me and ring me and tell me, so i'll still have 12 hours to buy a ticket'.

his reply 'sorry i don't think i'll be able to afford the call'.
I just looked at him in stunned silence.

hahaha. Thats funny for a few reasons.

[BoxingGorilla]

"That Jermaine Taylor guy is a lock for Saturday."

[Nameless]

Well... sorry to all break your bubble but I met the dumbest people in Europe, once... she used to be a flatmate, shocking:

The girl made 3 years of philosophy, so by then, you're more or less supposed to know a few very basic things, like to know that Emmanuel Kant is German... she thought he was french.. which is widely unacceptable in the circumstances. So after we exchange for like 20 minutes and that her general knowledge is staggering me by the depth of its pit, half joking and in total despair I pulled out a Geography card to color from my bag and I stuck it on the table (note, all the name of the countries were indicated but not the ones of the continents)

ME:" Ok Catherine, now you have to show me where is Asia"

Catherine: ........

ME: Catherine! Show me where is Asia RIGHT NOW

Catherine: ..... Well... China is in Asia, isn't it?

Me: ...... *gazing silently at her*

Catherine: Well... I am not sure, maybe not, well Matt, we cannot all have your general knowledge.

ME: Look.... close your eyes, put your finger anywhere on the map randomly, if we exclude the seas, you have one chance out of two to tumble over it.

No... Asia was a mystery...

[Master]

Mate asked me how clouds move?

[Nameless]

Mate asked me how clouds move?

You should tell him it depends of the given gravity force on a specific day

[Andre]

Well... sorry to all break your bubble but I met the dumbest people in Europe, once... she used to be a flatmate, shocking:

The girl made 3 years of philosophy, so by then, you're more or less supposed to know a few very basic things, like to know that Emmanuel Kant is German... she thought he was french.. which is widely unacceptable in the circumstances. So after we exchange for like 20 minutes and that her general knowledge is staggering me by the depth of its pit, half joking and in total despair I pulled out a Geography card to color from my bag and I stuck it on the table (note, all the name of the countries were indicated but not the ones of the continents)

ME:" Ok Catherine, now you have to show me where is Asia"

Catherine: ........

ME: Catherine! Show me where is Asia RIGHT NOW

Catherine: ..... Well... China is in Asia, isn't it?

Me: ...... *gazing silently at her*

Catherine: Well... I am not sure, maybe not, well Matt, we cannot all have your general knowledge.

ME: Look.... close your eyes, put your finger anywhere on the map randomly, if we exclude the seas, you have one chance out of two to tumble over it.

No... Asia was a mystery...

Yeah ok, but she was an evil root right?

[Andre]

My mates teen age daughter was listening to us talking about having kippers for breakfast and the nice taste of smoked fish.
She pipes up and says so where do they catch smoked fish?

I would of said in a stream during bushfire season but she had already stormed off to her room when Alan laughed out loud .

[Andre]

Mate asked me how clouds move?

Haha classic you could of said "like this" as you slapped him up the side of his head.

[Andre]

We were all standing around in a circle chewing the fat after a heavy days training in the mountains once and Sifu Cheung was out in front and people were asking him questions on his history and fight tactics etc etc some people were a bit in awe of him and some questions were strange.

Last but by no means least was one guy with a great sense of humour who asked; "Sifu ,why does the sun shine ?"

[JazMerkin]

An ex-girlfriend of mine once told me 'I want to go Japan one day to see the Great Wall of China'

Dozy biitch

[brucelee]

I have a board mate in college who insisted that a Galaxy is bigger than the UNIVERSE. We almost had a fist fight after that.

[Andre]

An ex-girlfriend of mine once told me 'I want to go Japan one day to see the Great Wall of China'

Dozy biitch

She was actually asking that you take her,right then and there.

[Nameless]

Well... sorry to all break your bubble but I met the dumbest people in Europe, once... she used to be a flatmate, shocking:

The girl made 3 years of philosophy, so by then, you're more or less supposed to know a few very basic things, like to know that Emmanuel Kant is German... she thought he was french.. which is widely unacceptable in the circumstances. So after we exchange for like 20 minutes and that her general knowledge is staggering me by the depth of its pit, half joking and in total despair I pulled out a Geography card to color from my bag and I stuck it on the table (note, all the name of the countries were indicated but not the ones of the continents)

ME:" Ok Catherine, now you have to show me where is Asia"

Catherine: ........

ME: Catherine! Show me where is Asia RIGHT NOW

Catherine: ..... Well... China is in Asia, isn't it?

Me: ...... *gazing silently at her*

Catherine: Well... I am not sure, maybe not, well Matt, we cannot all have your general knowledge.

ME: Look.... close your eyes, put your finger anywhere on the map randomly, if we exclude the seas, you have one chance out of two to tumble over it.

No... Asia was a mystery...

Yeah ok, but she was an evil root right?

Just dumb and on the ugly side. I feel a bit sorry for her.

[Gandalf]

People out here are full of the most ridiculous stereotypes and ideas they pick up from the god awful school textbooks.

"Oh, you are from England. I hear Englishman is gentleman". I'm thinking go there and see if you have the same opinion.

"Foreign people cannot eat spicy food". I'm thinking let's eat a vindaloo and see who's the last one standing.

"Teacher I hate Japan monkey people". I'm thinking "shit if Europe can get over modern Germany for the Nazis why are Korean schools still perpetuating the evil Japan crap?"

"Korea has four seasons". I'm thinking....yep, and so do most countries in the world. Actually Korea only has two noticeable seasons...summer and winter...but they like to think they are distinct and have four seasons.

"Park Ji Sung is Manchester United number one". I'm thinking oh, fuck off now and leave me alone.

"Teacher fan death real. Why you no believe Korea doctor". I'm thinking. Stop, please stop! I can't take this anymore.

There's probably loads more, but I can't think right now.

[CFH]

People out here are full of the most ridiculous stereotypes and ideas they pick up from the god awful school textbooks.

"Oh, you are from England. I hear Englishman is gentleman". I'm thinking go there and see if you have the same opinion.

"Foreign people cannot eat spicy food". I'm thinking let's eat a vindaloo and see who's the last one standing.

"Teacher I hate Japan monkey people". I'm thinking "shit if Europe can get over modern Germany for the Nazis why are Korean schools still perpetuating the evil Japan crap?"

"Korea has four seasons". I'm thinking....yep, and so do most countries in the world. Actually Korea only has two noticeable seasons...summer and winter...but they like to think they are distinct and have four seasons.

"Park Ji Sung is Manchester United number one". I'm thinking oh, fuck off now and leave me alone.

"Teacher fan death real. Why you no believe Korea doctor". I'm thinking. Stop, please stop! I can't take this anymore.

There's probably loads more, but I can't think right now.

Ok, I'm sure you've had enough of my fan-death questions, but do they believe that it can only kill you while you sleep?