Signs that you are getting older

[boyla]

You log into a boxing forum you joined 13 years ago, ohh fuck.

[brocktonblockbust]

You challenge a dolt to three 3 minute rounds with 10 oz gloves and headgear

[Spicoli]

Gout takes 2+ weeks to get rid of and it's the most forced and restrictive diet you've ever been on. Eat like a hippy rabbit, dream of deep dish and a thick steak.

[Batman]

Fucked my neck up whilst drying myself after getting out of the shower, fucking agony, pain is radiating all the way down my spine and I'm having to move my head like Michael Keaton in the old batman films.

I manage to get ready and step outside, realise that the cold weather is starting to take its toll on my bad hip and I'm walking with a limp, every time I take a step I feel a shudder of agony fly up my spine.

I'm walking like an absolute spaz at the moment.

[Master]

Fucked my neck up whilst drying myself after getting out of the shower, fucking agony, pain is radiating all the way down my spine and I'm having to move my head like Michael Keaton in the old batman films.

I manage to get ready and step outside, realise that the cold weather is starting to take its toll on my bad hip and I'm walking with a limp, every time I take a step I feel a shudder of agony fly up my spine.

I'm walking like an absolute spaz at the moment.

That is called growing pains.

[Batman]

Booked half a day so I'm on my way home now, if rather be at home in pain rather than at work

[El Kabong]

From my last hockey game I have either bruised a rib or broken a rib......hmmm interesting....oh and I'm playing again tonight....interesting pain though. should be fun

[Spicoli]

I'm so tired of saying "I 'member" at work now. I literally am the only one left of the original crew since June of 2000. We broke out the Christmas decorations to get the clinic festive and all these cards stacks and stacks from clients no longer there, pics of the crew when we all hung out and worked AS ONE . We implemented systems, protocols and we had genuine leadership and functionality...now, it's a shit show with slacker 20 yr olds who have zero initiative and are allowed to walk around with ear buds and phones in their faces. We've lost our client consciousness. No one in their 40's should be able to work virtual circles around kids half their age..every single day . Nor should they have to. It's weird having such an experience and age gap with most. There is very little to relate on and a clear stopping point that other employees cannot go beyond since they have only been on a job for 4,5,6 yrs. Ok enough whining you old geezer.

Anyways...Still have the dags though! I'm seeing generations of previous pups now. You still do the "I 'member" with the elder dags but you can still find all the positivity you need surrounded by honest dogs.

[boyla]

Accepting greying hair.
Took me a long time, I still think my kidneys are fucked, Liver is GOAT however

[walrus]

Sprained my knee, took about 2.5 months to be back at 100p, crazy, don’t bounce back like I once did

[Master]

Remember how Christmas felt when you were a kid? Remember the magic, the excitement, the exotic smells like*cloves and*orange peel and*red wine bubbling away on a hob?*Remember how, come December,*the world’s backdrop was a big, glowing fire, keeping everyone warm and happy?*

It really was the most wonderful time of the year – and then you got older, and everything turned to reindeer turds.

Festive cheer decreases at an inversely proportional rate to age. After 40-plus*Christmases, there are simply no surprises left in your stocking,*no fun to be had under the mistletoe. Instead,*December shakes you mercilessly from start to finish like an angry drunk convinced you stole his shoes.

It's a month of stress and shopping – a month tailor made to leave middle-aged you feeling battered and broken.*Broken from worrying about getting all of your work done in time. Broken*from endlessly discussing which set of in-laws to descend upon. Broken from ferrying numerous children around to bark at elves, or to shout incoherently through carol services.

Somewhere along the line, Christmas lost its magic. A tragedy – and one that can be avoided. It’s time to tear your shirt open and to raise two defiant fingers to the crackling maelstrom overhead. It’s time to shout "Merry Christmas everyone" into the abyss, because this year, you are going to discover your middle-aged festive spirit even if it kills you from alcohol poisoning (always drink responsibly).

STEP 1: Listen to good Christmas*music*
This year, to save you from the tears, ban Wham!, Slade, and Radio 2 from the home. A Charlie Brown Christmas by the Vince Guaraldi Trio is your new Christmas album of choice.*Its gorgeous, jazzy melancholia really seems to understand how you feel at this time of year.*

STEP 2: Eat as many Christmas sandwiches as possible
The Christmas*sandwich has become a seasonal big hitter on the working lunch circuit, because what better way to get in the festive mood than with an expensive snack from Pret a Manger? Who cares if they're worryingly high in calories – it's Christmas, you're allowed to indulge.

STEP 3: Get your shopping done early
No more silently screaming in department stores, no more standing in the middle of a high street on Christmas Eve breathing into a paper bag. Such an easy step in theory, such a hard*ask in practice – but nothing will help you enjoy this Yuletide more.

STEP 4: Only buy tactical presents*
In years gone past, you've looked at items in shops and asked yourself 'Would so-and-so appreciate this?'*A change of tack is needed. By asking the question 'Will my life be better if I gift this to so-and-so', you'll find Christmas Day's present-giving session to be exciting once again. You'll find you genuinely look forward to your daughter unwrapping her*new noise-cancelling over-ear headphones*(all the better for listening to Justin Bieber – without subjecting you to it too).

STEP 5: Drink*sherry
Remember how your nan would always drink her seasonal sherry from a little glass shaped like a tiny corset and it would remind you of Christmas? It’s time to dust off those old family traditions and update them for a new generation. Try buying a bottle of sherry and drinking it from a bigger glass. See? You're already feeling better.

STEP 6: Do NOT attend the school*nativity play
Every year you think it might make you feel festive, but unfortunately there are no cockles to be warmed from watching two thirds of the Three Wise Men crying their*eyes out while Mary picks her nose and eats it through a muddled rendition of Little Donkey.
Be genuinely wise, and attempt to De-Scrooge yourself elsewhere this year.

STEP 7: Answer the door to carol singers
When you’re little, carol singers*fill you with warm loveliness and excited anticipation. And*then you learn about “supply and demand” and the basic rules of capitalism, until eventually you find yourself ducking behind the front door and*aggressively shushing your family, convinced that the Glee Club outside is after your money.*

This year, take a deep breath,*embrace their choral reinterpretations, and allow the Festive Spirit to infect you. Surely worth it for a fiver?
Step 8: Take a child to see Father Christmas
Yes, the fat man with a face that incorporates every shade*of red may only*be a very loose embodiment of the 4th Century Turkish Bishop St Nicholas, but just look at the sheer joy on your child’s face.*Without wanting to get too soppy, that’s genuinely what it’s all about.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/lifestyle/...cid=spartanntp

[Spicoli]

Thought I had something witty but just looked down at my keyboard and became distracted in how dirty is was and how small the letters have become.

[boyla]

I remember going crazy when they played Wizard when I was around 8.

In UK they played Christmas music in October.
Presently surprised, when I heard Christmas jingles piped into stores after Dec14 in Hong Kong.

In thread theme, I genuinely had more pleasure giving away candy than eating it this year.
I suppose being a brit I will never enjoy Halloween as an adult.

Just broke me out of my misery shell, seeing kids getting excited over Christmas.

[Beanz]

I remember going crazy when they played Wizard when I was around 8.

In UK they played Christmas music in October.
Presently surprised, when I heard Christmas jingles piped into stores after Dec14 in Hong Kong.

In thread theme, I genuinely had more pleasure giving away candy than eating it this year.
I suppose being a brit I will never enjoy Halloween as an adult.

Just broke me out of my misery shell, seeing kids getting excited over Christmas.

I absolutely get you on this.

I can't wait to watch the grandkids open their presents tomorrow. Peeling spuds for 10 people and making a bucketful of spiced red cabbage ..not so much

[NoSavingByTheBell]

when I was younger I would think this "Creepy Demon Sounds" soundtrack was scary, now, not so much.

Oh, one more, you know youre getting older when you wake up, brush your teeth and gargle, drink some water, make a coffee, then say "OH SHIT, I FORGOT TO BRUSH MY TEETH, HOW CAN I DRINK A COFFEE YET?!? then you go into the bathroom, grab your toothbrush and toothpaste and realize you just did that 5 minutes ago.