1. If you do not know any of the songs in the Top 40 -
  2. You are against skimpy clothes
  3. You lie to your kids to get them to behave
  4. You have stopped going out and become a taxi driver for your kids
  5. You get impatient
  6. You sound slightly mad and talk to yourself
  7. You spend more time at B&Q than HMV
  8. You get annoyed at Christmas – why should santa get all the credit for buying the prsesnts when you have bought them.
  9. You are thrifty with money but wife spends too much on shoes, bags and clothes
  10. You turn off the heating and lights – if you are cold wear a jumper!