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Thread: Boris Johnson

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  1. #1
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    Default Boris Johnson

    Congrats Britain you have a leader

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson





    The United Kingdom is truly fucked after a horny bumbling man-child who swallowed a thesaurus somehow found himself in possession of the keys to number 10 Downing street.


    Boris Johnson will become the new prime minister tomorrow, in a move that is so patently ridiculous it should really be covered on the news by Stuart Hall before he tells us “here come the Belgians!”
    After the wise and knowledgeable Tory party membership decided Boris should be prime minister because he reminds them of their errant grandson, the nation will now be at the mercy of a man with all the rationality and boundless enthusiasm of a labrador puppy.
    “We’re fucked. Totally fucked,” explained voter Simon Williams.
    “He’ll do whatever he can to take us out of the EU with no-deal, then turn us into Trump’s transatlantic lap-dogs.
    “His track record is one of successfully being elected, then fucking everything up. The garden bridge, the water cannon, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. These are all massive fuck-ups he created when he wasn’t even the real boss.
    “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m almost beginning to feel nostalgic for Theresa May’s blundering incompetence – at least she wanted the job for the job’s sake, rather than to feed her ego.”
    Another former Tory voter told us, “Seriously, everyone needs to calm down. What’s the worst that could happen?
    “I think everyone is overreacting. It’s not like there is any sort of precedent for a nation electing a blond philandering gaffe-prone New York-born anti-establishment candidate who went on to make the nation his own personal plaything and a global laughing stock.
    “Oh. Shit.”


    https://newsthump.com/2019/07/23/nat...kfxUs5KHUGVmRc
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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Quote Originally Posted by Beanz View Post




    The United Kingdom is truly fucked after a horny bumbling man-child who swallowed a thesaurus somehow found himself in possession of the keys to number 10 Downing street.


    Boris Johnson will become the new prime minister tomorrow, in a move that is so patently ridiculous it should really be covered on the news by Stuart Hall before he tells us “here come the Belgians!”
    After the wise and knowledgeable Tory party membership decided Boris should be prime minister because he reminds them of their errant grandson, the nation will now be at the mercy of a man with all the rationality and boundless enthusiasm of a labrador puppy.
    “We’re fucked. Totally fucked,” explained voter Simon Williams.
    “He’ll do whatever he can to take us out of the EU with no-deal, then turn us into Trump’s transatlantic lap-dogs.
    “His track record is one of successfully being elected, then fucking everything up. The garden bridge, the water cannon, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. These are all massive fuck-ups he created when he wasn’t even the real boss.
    “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m almost beginning to feel nostalgic for Theresa May’s blundering incompetence – at least she wanted the job for the job’s sake, rather than to feed her ego.”
    Another former Tory voter told us, “Seriously, everyone needs to calm down. What’s the worst that could happen?
    “I think everyone is overreacting. It’s not like there is any sort of precedent for a nation electing a blond philandering gaffe-prone New York-born anti-establishment candidate who went on to make the nation his own personal plaything and a global laughing stock.
    “Oh. Shit.”


    https://newsthump.com/2019/07/23/nat...kfxUs5KHUGVmRc
    Congrats beaner I’ll start a today in Boris thread

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Quote Originally Posted by walrus View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Beanz View Post




    The United Kingdom is truly fucked after a horny bumbling man-child who swallowed a thesaurus somehow found himself in possession of the keys to number 10 Downing street.


    Boris Johnson will become the new prime minister tomorrow, in a move that is so patently ridiculous it should really be covered on the news by Stuart Hall before he tells us “here come the Belgians!”
    After the wise and knowledgeable Tory party membership decided Boris should be prime minister because he reminds them of their errant grandson, the nation will now be at the mercy of a man with all the rationality and boundless enthusiasm of a labrador puppy.
    “We’re fucked. Totally fucked,” explained voter Simon Williams.
    “He’ll do whatever he can to take us out of the EU with no-deal, then turn us into Trump’s transatlantic lap-dogs.
    “His track record is one of successfully being elected, then fucking everything up. The garden bridge, the water cannon, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. These are all massive fuck-ups he created when he wasn’t even the real boss.
    “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m almost beginning to feel nostalgic for Theresa May’s blundering incompetence – at least she wanted the job for the job’s sake, rather than to feed her ego.”
    Another former Tory voter told us, “Seriously, everyone needs to calm down. What’s the worst that could happen?
    “I think everyone is overreacting. It’s not like there is any sort of precedent for a nation electing a blond philandering gaffe-prone New York-born anti-establishment candidate who went on to make the nation his own personal plaything and a global laughing stock.
    “Oh. Shit.”


    https://newsthump.com/2019/07/23/nat...kfxUs5KHUGVmRc
    Congrats beaner I’ll start a today in Boris thread
    Go for it Wally x
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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Ha ha @TitoFan aka tits I’m not on ignore

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    You may soon beg to be.

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Quote Originally Posted by TitoFan View Post
    You may soon beg to be.
    Never, I understand beanz

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    We have Trump mark 2 but not as intelligent, sensitive or diplomatic.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Damn

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Watch No Deal Brexit be the absolute best thing ever for Britain. You HEAR all these doomsday scenarios from the EU and all, but what the fuck are they going to say? "Sure go away, who needs you and your big economy?!?! Surely not the European Union who has all the amazing economies they can handle!"


    The EU will end up begging you to stay
    "Drown in a vat of whiskey.....death where is thy sting?" - W.C. Fields.

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Can't believe all the people who are in shock he won the vote - he has been a clear favorite for weeks.
    Don't bully fat kids - they've got enough on their plate

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Great stuff.
    Remember reality is an illusion caused by a lack of alcohol .

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark TKO View Post
    Can't believe all the people who are in shock he won the vote - he has been a clear favorite for weeks.

    GIVE BORIS A TRY





    "Drown in a vat of whiskey.....death where is thy sting?" - W.C. Fields.

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Britain’s finest hour

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    Default Re: Boris Johnson

    Headline from the huffington post

    Boris Johnson: Too Many Areas In The UK Where English Is Not The First Language

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffi...04c48141237d2/

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