Re: The all you need to know about covid thread
So, am EXPERT friend of a friend of mine, whose husband's sister's nephew's friend once removed works as a surgeon in Wuhan sent me this message today ..... I hope this is as helpful as all the other posts that are being shared online:
- Covid-19 is a BIG virus. It's molecules are large, so you can see them lying around your house like footballs. Kick them away carefully and then wash your foot with a 50/50 solution of melted cheese and WD40.
- the virus HATES heat, so wear a jumper and a scarf. We know it is killed by heat because there are no cases in Iran or anywhere hot.
- Drink hot water and gargle tea. The heat of the water, which immediately cools as it goes into your mouth will kill the virus. Your body temperature does not rise at all either, but never let common sense get in the way of a shared Facebook post.. That way you will be cured. Chinese people invented tea and there hasn't been any outbreak in China
.- Obviously, it is utterly logical that if the virus HATES heat, it must LOVE cold. Don't eat ice cream or ice cubes at all, because they will be crawling with virus. The fact that this pandemic originated in Antarctica should tell us all something.
- Wear a mask. Masks help. Darth Vader does not have coronavirus. Every country afflicted with the virus so far NEVER thought about wearing simple face masks. If you can't get hold of a medical mask, use a plastic clown mask. It will work just as well.
- The virus apparently originated in bats. They are not extinct, so they MUST be immune to it. Make a hearty bowl of bat soup to boost your immune system. If you can't get hold of a bat, wear Batman underpants instead.
- A local surgeon told me that the virus is spreading rapidly via petrol pump nozzles. This is OK, as the only people harmed will be gas guzzling old people who haven't upgraded to electric vehicles. Clearly, they all deserve to die anyway.
- Experts suggest doing this simple exercise every morning. Take a deep breath and HOLD your breath for 36 minutes. If there is no pain in your lungs, then you have no fibroids there and you can tell everyone how healthy you are (on social media obviously)
- Set up a Facebook page, or just fill yours up with ideas that nobody else in the world could have possibly thought of. How about a ticket system so people's requests for help can be actioned quicker? Let's tell everyone to put some random piece of paper in their window, as it will somehow cheer everyone up? quick meme making a pithy point is a great comfort to self-isolating people who are ill. Why not criticise toilet roll hoarders, while simultaneously listing those shops who are selling eggs? There is much entertainment in posting things saying what idiots everyone else is.Hope this helps ������������
Last edited by X; 07-01-2020 at 09:46 PM.
If God wanted us to be vegetarians, why are animals made of meat ?