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Audley looked AMAZING, next champ
Audley Harrison, the British 2000 Olympic Super Heavyweight Gold medallist, former WBF Heavyweight champion and currently on a comeback trail starting, stated that he was told in no uncertain terms that he had to look good on the Joe Calzaghe undercard.
He may have said something along the lines of, “I was told I had to look good, so I went out, had a manicure. Ate some lobster. Had a massage, relaxed, bought myself some new threads, clean socks. Then I had my hair done, brushed my teeth, covered myself in oil and I went into the ring against a tough opponent.”
Unfortunately nobody told Audley that he was meant to look good in the ring, by boxing. Boxing is a sport where the winner is decided by who has landed the best shots, who worked the hardest or who made the least racial slurs in the build up to the fight.
Audley stated on his performance “You didn’t see all the good tonight. As you can tell, when I went down and had myself I feel the guy didn’t want to know, he just crumbled. When I work the body, gosh, it’s summmmmit else.”
Audley won his fight in the fifth round when he went for a nipple twist but mistimed it and ended up battering his opponents ribcage. Questions were asked about Audley possibly fighting David Haye, the undisputed Cruiserweight Champion. Audley said something like, “It would be a sexy fight. We both have buff bodies, nice abs, and Haye used to do modelling which I could have done if I wasn’t so set on boxing, you know? Definitely a sexy fight, we would fill Wembley stadium. It would be intense, sexy, very sexy, boxing isn’t normally sexy. I make it sexy. It would be entertaining, and have this intense sexual atmosphere. We both have slightly overshot jaws and this is why were chinny, no pun intended, and this would make for a sexual fight. Mmmmm, mmmm, bitch.”
Yours in manliness,
Fantana
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Originally Posted by AdamGB
still cant.
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