A joke for you all...

[Kev]

Two Irishmen are out hunting in the woods together one day, shooting for rabbits.

Anyways the older of the two has a bad ticker and after a couple hours running around his heart gives out and he collapses.

In panic his friend dials for an ambulance, and when the operator picks up he starts screaming at her 'My friend is dead, help me my friend is dead'.

The operater tries to calm the man down talking to him softly and says to him, 'Sir calm down, take a deep breath. I need you to check your friend properly, are you sure he's dead?

The phone goes silent then the operator hears a gunshot fired.

The man comes back on the phone, 'Yes I'm sure he's dead, now what?'

[Pantera]

Funny! Reminded me of another involving a shotgun...




Living in the Colorado Mountains


A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.

He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an

Ad for "Bear Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll

Be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van.

He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit

Bull.



"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?


"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof,

Then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof

With this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit

Bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.



The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the

Cage In the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the

Shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

[Kev]

Ha!

[Kev]

Ok another one, before the mods move us to the obscurity of the Hidden Boards.


David and Victoria Beckham are taking part in a celebrity special of Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

Anyway they have done better than expected and are at £4000. The question for £8000 comes up.

Which animal lives in a set?

A) Badger
B) Rabbit
C) Fox
D) Cuckoo

Both being a bit thick they go 50/50 leaving A and D as the possible answer.

'I know!' shouts David Beckham its A Chris.

After a dramatic pause Chris announces, 'It's the Right Answer! You've won £8000 pounds!'

The he says to Beckham, 'Well done David, you sounded like you were really sure of the answer'.

'It was easy' says Beckham.................... 'Cuckoos live in clocks'