My girlfriend and I watched Snakes on a Plane last night. Of course the conversation after the movie consisted mainly of snake talk. We got on the topic of King Snake vs. Coral snake and she said,

"Red on black, friend to Jack; Red on yellow, kill a fellow."

Upon hearing this I laughed until I cried. After words I said,

"Red on black, venom lack." More precise. Sounds better and who the fuck is "Jack."

She was furious and tried to convince me that "friend to Jack" sounded better than "venom lack." The conviction with which she argued made me furious.

"friend to Jack" is misleading. Just because it's bite won't kill you doesn't make it your friend. It's not going to help you gather firewood and roast marshmallows with you. "Venom lack" tells you everything you need to know without misleading you.

For that I was forced to sleep on the couch.