Re: Specifically how DO we "relax"?
That's two different things that go together, i.e. being calm during a fight while remaining loose.
Being cool under pressure is something that takes time to achieve, but can be developed. Working with a trainer, you can practice how to block/parry and avoid punches and coming back with a counter. Say for instance you can alternate between parrying and slipping a lead and then come back with a power shot. At the same time they should instill some discipline that after his own offerings to be prepared for his opponents come back blows.
Now before you spar you ought to have something to work on, "This is what I want to do. This is what I want to work on." For example you may set out to land your right hand, perhaps as a particular counter that you and your coach has been working on. You can also make things easier on yourself by keeping your guard up and letting your opponent come to you. When you punch, don't worry about putting anything on it, just think about walking him into punches. Focus on your defense, small steps to get into the right angles, and let him run into everything. Then you can relax the pace, be loose in there (try to smile too), and then you'll find out that you have another round or so left in you after it's all over.
As for punching in general, make sure that you're punching properly, and don't worry about looking good, i.e. punching fast or hard. That's what causes a lot of people to tense up. Slow down a little, if need be.
A good stretching routine done several times can have plenty of benefits too. For example, if you're tight in your back it'll affect your punches. It may also be a symptom of bad posture, or your fighting stance, and that's when an expert like Scrap will know what adjustments need to made.
If you hear a voice within you saying that I am not a painter, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.
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