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Thread: What lies do you tell?

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    Default What lies do you tell?

    I tell a porky sometimes, but mainly to avoid trouble with the wife, here are some of my favourites.

    1. On being asked how many beers I had, I say 4 when really I had about 8
    2. Strangers say "how are you?" and really you see see only horror, but you just say "I'm good".
    3. When you say "Good morning".....I mean really? What is good about the morning?
    4. When you see a student with a Ziggy Stardust haircut and you say "you are one funky looking chap!"

    What are your classic lies?
    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWNc_AZewu7AAERwCfLfupUZIJSbzqC MgjXFbc0u9YrZkuInoB

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    my age. it started back in about grade 7 where i started reallly noticing girls boobies and felt the strong urge to grab them. Added 2 years and just told people I was dumb and that was why i was 2 grades behind. By highschool I got it down to 1 yr older then real as the gap didn't seem to matter as much, and could no longer use the "Im dumb" excuse as was put in a gifted program...but occasionally still add a year or 2, especially if I got the chance to hook up with a tart in her 20's.

    Totally acceptable lie imo.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Haha, very good YB. I think that is quite acceptable too. I must admit I slice a couple of years off my age sometimes, but I can just about get away with it. 31 is not cool and I can pass for just over 25 if I get a couple of nights sleep in. But I would never take it that far, 28 is my lie limit.
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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    A few years ago I was more coy with my views. One time a christian coworker asked me if I believed in god and I replied saying that "Sure, I do". But really I didn't, in many ways I am far more honest today. I will attack any absurdity that I truly believe to be quite ridiculous and beyond any sense of reason. I don't care who I will upset a lot of the time. I guess it is partly why I get called a cunt on here so much there days. "Well actually I think.....". "Shut it, you cunt!". It creates a wonderful type of discourse, that of just plainly speaking your mind and hiding nothing.

    But still we have these basic pleasantries to make work go smoothly, make your wife be rational and to create a sense of social wheel cog turning.
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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Youngblood View Post
    my age. it started back in about grade 7 where i started reallly noticing girls boobies and felt the strong urge to grab them. Added 2 years and just told people I was dumb and that was why i was 2 grades behind. By highschool I got it down to 1 yr older then real as the gap didn't seem to matter as much, and could no longer use the "Im dumb" excuse as was put in a gifted program...but occasionally still add a year or 2, especially if I got the chance to hook up with a tart in her 20's.

    Totally acceptable lie imo.

    One more.

    Your life and backstory is less credible than Ice's. At least he posted up a picture of the back of his head and a girl who was supposed to be his girlfriend.

    Sure you had that kid on the news pretending to be you but don't believe for a second that I'm fooled.

    Also, MIles...you lied too. When the wife asks you how many, you say two and mean four. No way a spidery cunt like you drinks 8 pints.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Eight pints is easy, Bilbo. Not that hard at all. Sure it makes you talk weird stuff, but quite drinkable.
    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWNc_AZewu7AAERwCfLfupUZIJSbzqC MgjXFbc0u9YrZkuInoB

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Is this the time to break out the story of when I was at uni and the guy I used to hang round with were matching each other drink for drink & he ended up in A&E getting his stomach pumped. I was fine

    It was around this time I figured drinking is not good umm-kayy.

    (plus it ages your skin)
    Last edited by Howlin Mad Missy; 08-08-2011 at 06:57 PM.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
    Eight pints is easy, Bilbo. Not that hard at all. Sure it makes you talk weird stuff, but quite drinkable.
    Have you had 8 now?

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    I don't lie, I speak the truth at all times, mostly. A lie is a liabilty

    and yes Miles that dress does make you look fat.
    Last edited by Spicoli; 08-08-2011 at 07:07 PM.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    I don't lie. I just choose my words carefully and well, not always so carefully either. It can be hard to be honest.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy View Post
    I don't lie. I just choose my words carefully and well, not always so carefully either. It can be hard to be honest.
    Its alot like juggling knives. Hell, we all 'lie' be it small day to day or some contrived thing. My pet peeve are the ones who lie and you figure it out, yet they keep repeating it. It's not the lie it's the repetition and failure to own it. This is a good question really, shit I've told some doozies in the past ha.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicoli View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy View Post
    I don't lie. I just choose my words carefully and well, not always so carefully either. It can be hard to be honest.
    Its alot like juggling knives. Hell, we all 'lie' be it small day to day or some contrived thing. My pet peeve are the ones who lie and you figure it out, yet they keep repeating it. It's not the lie it's the repetition and failure to own it. This is a good question really, shit I've told some doozies in the past ha.
    There are ways and means. Take the old - does my bum look big in this - it's like some Sheldon algorithm. You can be honest. Yes/No. Lie yes/no or if yes say I don't think it suits you

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    When everyone is a sleep I say I am going downstairs to watch MOTD and really it is my only chance to watch porn.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spicoli View Post
    I don't lie, I speak the truth at all times, mostly. A lie is a liabilty

    and yes Miles that dress does make you look fat.

    Only if you get caught.

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    Default Re: What lies do you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Spicoli View Post
    I don't lie, I speak the truth at all times, mostly. A lie is a liabilty

    and yes Miles that dress does make you look fat.

    Only if you get caught.
    You have to remember lies, and they are there to trip you up at any time. I've seen people think they get over but were not 'caught' until they set a pattern and dig the hole deep enough.

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