Tanning bed something to be ashamed of?

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Originally Posted by Sharla

I'm a natural brunette - not a red head but with the limited amount of sunlight you get I could be an albino and you'd still be paler than me!

I can honestly - with the exception of you - I've never looked at a guy and thought - he needs to work on his tan! Actually with you it was he needs some vitamin D.

I'd think you extremely stupid going to a sun bed though Bilbo having experienced cancer yourself! Fake tans often look orange anyway too.

I really think you'd be better off getting 20 to 30 minutes of natural sunlight per day - not risking any sudden serious over exposure to UV and having a natural healthy glow that comes from exercise (for your circulation) and vitamin D.

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Damn girl what's with all this personal abuse this morning, you got a stone in your shoe or something? :D

I'm really not that pale to be honest, its just the lighting on my camera. And when I do occaisionly go in the sun I go dark brown, I'm not a naturally fair skinned person really I just don't go outside much.

But that will change soon as I prepare for my Snowdon climb.

By the way you are seriously kidding yourself if you think you are anything other than ginger. ;)

I've already given you a detailed PM explanation for the appearance of my hair colour. I won't type it all out again!

Besides if you're so convinved that I'm a red head then why should I believe you're not as pale as you look in your profile pic?!?!

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Originally Posted by Sharla

I've already given you a detailed PM explanation for the appearance of my hair colour. I won't type it all out again!

Besides if you're so convinved that I'm a red head then why should I believe you're not as pale as you look in your profile pic?!?!

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I don't care one bit if you think I'm pale or not :)

There's nothing wrong with being pale.....or ginger for that matter.

Often it makes a person stand out more. Helena Bonham Carter is as white as a Hollywood smile but she's as foxy as hell, and for years the only girl anyone knew out of Girl's Aloud was the ginger one.

Better to stand out I think.

Nothing wrong with being a redhead, you know you look gorgeous to me :lickish:

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are. :p

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Originally Posted by Sharla

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are. :p

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I don't think its good to be vain or to have a self image that's built around wholly external trivial things but I don't attach any value either or good bad in choosing go tanning or not.

I mean you could argue that you actually spend far more time trying to look good than your friends seeing as you watch what you eat, cycle, run, box, swim and do judo. I know you'll doubtless say you do it for a wholly more significant and purer reason than through wanting to look good but I won't believe you for a single second if you try and tell me you don't ever look at yourself in the mirror and see how your bum looks in a certain dress or whether you are putting on weight.

Ultimately I also think we all tend to think what traits we don't find attractive in certain people but in reality those things are not really what turn us off. For example you may meet a guy who tans and think he's amazing, the fact he uses sunbeds won't even come into it.

I hate smoking, I think it's disgusting but I've fallen for girls who smoke before. My girlfriend Nathalie I didn't even notice whether she was smoking in front of me or not, it just wasn't really on my mind.

However if a girl I'm not attracted to anyway has bad habits, I notice them a whole lot more. If I'm hooked on someone though most minor things I don't care about, dodgy eyes and feet aside ;D

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

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Originally Posted by Sharla

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

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Lol I lOVE how you always imply that I'm the shallow one :rolleyes:

Regarding tanning who is the one making judgements? It's you! I personally don't even think about whether someone uses a tanning bed or not but to YOU its a sign of vanity and so you make a superficial judgement that they are vain person :rolleyes:

As for the guy who had a modelling career, you may have felt that was superficial (and in his case it may have been after all I don't know the guy) but for people whose career is based on their appearance it's NOT a vanity thing.

If a catwalk model or Hollywood performer works constantly on looking as beautiful as possible at all times it's not necessarily any more vain than an athlete who constantly wants to be as healthy as possibly. It's their careers after all.

Not being able to overlook minor faults in itself is a superficial thing Sharla!

I don't see what monogamy has to do with this but again I can sense the hidden implication being 'unlike you' but I would like to fall in love with a beautiful girl who matched my interests and values and who I felt a true spiritual connection with. If I met such a person, trust me I wouldn't ever want to let her go either.

I think you tend to attribute certain characteristics to people because you are highly judgemental but just because you think someone is such a way doesn't always make them so.

People can exhibit behaviours for any number of underlying reasons and to write someone off because they use sunbeds as being a superficial and fake person is in itself superficial and fake.

And quit it with your implications that you are a better person than me. I do indeed think you're an awesome girl and have a ton of great qualities, but your still a little way from perfection yourself.

Just remember that me and Dizaster don't come on to your blog or threads and start calling you names or telling you why we think you are a loser.

You are so full of sweeping judgements......

But as I'm not a superficial person I can look beyond that and still see your potential underneath :angel:

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

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Originally Posted by Sharla

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

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I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously. :-\

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities ;D

I used a tanning bed on and off for about 2 years a while back.. It made me feel great about myself, I got a lot more looks from girls, my girlfriend at the time loved it.. I exercised a lot more because I had more self esteem etc etc.
I originally started going though was because I had excema (dunno how to spell it), and my skin used to be really weak and crappy.. It was always dry and blotchy and not great.. When I realised that it sort of went away in summer when I got more sun, and got a lot worse in winter when I was inside a lot, I decided to go to tanning sallon and LOVED it!

However, after taking a few years break, I realised that I wouldn't want to go back and put the risk on myself of one day getting skin cancer... You can go 100 years and never get diagnosed with that,,, but it only takes 1 minute for a doctor to tell you that you have an aggressive skin cancer, and then you can never go back and change it.

However, at the time I was just as aware of the risks and didn't mind.. I guess i've just found more things in my life that I want more than a tan.

AND, I smoke cigarettes so i've already got possible problems in the future from that, so I don't want to increase my odds even more...


An ALTERNATIVE though, is to get a spray on tan called "Mystic Tan"... It is THE, ONLY, spray on tan that looks 100% natural and doesn't look yellow.. I know a few people that get it, even in the middle of winter, and it looks completley natural, and you only have to go as often as tan bed anyway...
Also, they have a lot of moisturizers at the moment that have tan put in.. These also build a natural tan that won't look orange like the ones most ladies buy.. You can also experiment with buying a cream self tan, and mixing a little bit of that, with the moisturizing tan to give it a little bit more effect, but it still look very natural...

Maybe as a substitute for tanning each time, you can go half as much, but just buy a good tan moisturizer.. you'll probably get the exact same effect, but half you're UV exposure, and save a bunch of money as well...

Their was this absolutely GORRRGEEEEOUSSSS women that worked at the tanning place where I went, and she was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO adorably nice that it was half the reason I wanted to go in there every time... ;D

It's also very theraputic going in there and just laying back for 10-15 minutes.. And you come out all tingly and feeling like you've just been at the beach,,, even if it's cold and shitty outside.. So it was difficult for me to decide to give it a pass this time around..

Another plus of it is that your body gets a little used to tanning, and you won't get that one BAD day at the start of summer where your pale skin gets tortured and red.

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Originally Posted by Bilbo

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Originally Posted by Sharla

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

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I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously. :-\

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities ;D

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I'll probably have a spare room in my new house if you guys would like it ???

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

I used a tanning bed on and off for about 2 years a while back.. It made me feel great about myself, I got a lot more looks from girls, my girlfriend at the time loved it.. I exercised a lot more because I had more self esteem etc etc.
I originally started going though was because I had excema (dunno how to spell it), and my skin used to be really weak and crappy.. It was always dry and blotchy and not great.. When I realised that it sort of went away in summer when I got more sun, and got a lot worse in winter when I was inside a lot, I decided to go to tanning sallon and LOVED it!

However, after taking a few years break, I realised that I wouldn't want to go back and put the risk on myself of one day getting skin cancer... You can go 100 years and never get diagnosed with that,,, but it only takes 1 minute for a doctor to tell you that you have an aggressive skin cancer, and then you can never go back and change it.

However, at the time I was just as aware of the risks and didn't mind.. I guess i've just found more things in my life that I want more than a tan.

AND, I smoke cigarettes so i've already got possible problems in the future from that, so I don't want to increase my odds even more...


An ALTERNATIVE though, is to get a spray on tan called "Mystic Tan"... It is THE, ONLY, spray on tan that looks 100% natural and doesn't look yellow.. I know a few people that get it, even in the middle of winter, and it looks completley natural, and you only have to go as often as tan bed anyway...
Also, they have a lot of moisturizers at the moment that have tan put in.. These also build a natural tan that won't look orange like the ones most ladies buy.. You can also experiment with buying a cream self tan, and mixing a little bit of that, with the moisturizing tan to give it a little bit more effect, but it still look very natural...

Maybe as a substitute for tanning each time, you can go half as much, but just buy a good tan moisturizer.. you'll probably get the exact same effect, but half you're UV exposure, and save a bunch of money as well...

Their was this absolutely GORRRGEEEEOUSSSS women that worked at the tanning place where I went, and she was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO adorably nice that it was half the reason I wanted to go in there every time... ;D

It's also very theraputic going in there and just laying back for 10-15 minutes.. And you come out all tingly and feeling like you've just been at the beach,,, even if it's cold and shitty outside.. So it was difficult for me to decide to give it a pass this time around..

Another plus of it is that your body gets a little used to tanning, and you won't get that one BAD day at the start of summer where your pale skin gets tortured and red.

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That mystic tan sounds ideal mate, I'll have a look online for it in a bit, hope they sell it in the UK. A couple of my lady friends use tan creams and they look really good and natural to me.

I'm tempted to try one before the wedding but I've always been worried it would streak and that's put me off so far.

Unfortunately you're going to probably have another bashing from little Miss Perfect for your vanity and shallowness as will I for agreeing to give it a try.

But as she so kindly said herself I look unnaturally pale and sickly without this stuff and may frighten people so if even unshallow girls like her are going to judge against me for my ghostly looks anyway I may as well be using a fake tan :)

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

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Originally Posted by Bilbo

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Originally Posted by Sharla

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

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I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously. :-\

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities ;D

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I'll probably have a spare room in my new house if you guys would like it ???

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haha I'd love to take you up on that offer but I fear if I ever did get lucky enough to spend time alone with Sharla she would probably just be there to beat me up :D

As a man of mixed race i was kinda ignorant to the idea that i could burn.

Well, I definately burn guys. Badly.

So ive taken to the idea of using the sun bed a bit before a holiday. Just to make sure i cook properly ;D

Lol, Bilbo probably considers this long dialogue with Sharla a date;D

Hey Bilbs', you gonna tell all your friends you had a date with a girl today?:lickish: Nevermind, all your friends are here on Saddo's, so we know different:D