Tanning bed something to be ashamed of?

[Sharla]

I've already given you a detailed PM explanation for the appearance of my hair colour. I won't type it all out again!

Besides if you're so convinved that I'm a red head then why should I believe you're not as pale as you look in your profile pic?!?!

[Kev]

I've already given you a detailed PM explanation for the appearance of my hair colour. I won't type it all out again!

Besides if you're so convinved that I'm a red head then why should I believe you're not as pale as you look in your profile pic?!?!

I don't care one bit if you think I'm pale or not

There's nothing wrong with being pale.....or ginger for that matter.

Often it makes a person stand out more. Helena Bonham Carter is as white as a Hollywood smile but she's as foxy as hell, and for years the only girl anyone knew out of Girl's Aloud was the ginger one.

Better to stand out I think.

Nothing wrong with being a redhead, you know you look gorgeous to me

[Sharla]

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are.

[Kev]

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are.

I don't think its good to be vain or to have a self image that's built around wholly external trivial things but I don't attach any value either or good bad in choosing go tanning or not.

I mean you could argue that you actually spend far more time trying to look good than your friends seeing as you watch what you eat, cycle, run, box, swim and do judo. I know you'll doubtless say you do it for a wholly more significant and purer reason than through wanting to look good but I won't believe you for a single second if you try and tell me you don't ever look at yourself in the mirror and see how your bum looks in a certain dress or whether you are putting on weight.

Ultimately I also think we all tend to think what traits we don't find attractive in certain people but in reality those things are not really what turn us off. For example you may meet a guy who tans and think he's amazing, the fact he uses sunbeds won't even come into it.

I hate smoking, I think it's disgusting but I've fallen for girls who smoke before. My girlfriend Nathalie I didn't even notice whether she was smoking in front of me or not, it just wasn't really on my mind.

However if a girl I'm not attracted to anyway has bad habits, I notice them a whole lot more. If I'm hooked on someone though most minor things I don't care about, dodgy eyes and feet aside

[Sharla]

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

[Kev]

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

Lol I lOVE how you always imply that I'm the shallow one

Regarding tanning who is the one making judgements? It's you! I personally don't even think about whether someone uses a tanning bed or not but to YOU its a sign of vanity and so you make a superficial judgement that they are vain person

As for the guy who had a modelling career, you may have felt that was superficial (and in his case it may have been after all I don't know the guy) but for people whose career is based on their appearance it's NOT a vanity thing.

If a catwalk model or Hollywood performer works constantly on looking as beautiful as possible at all times it's not necessarily any more vain than an athlete who constantly wants to be as healthy as possibly. It's their careers after all.

Not being able to overlook minor faults in itself is a superficial thing Sharla!

I don't see what monogamy has to do with this but again I can sense the hidden implication being 'unlike you' but I would like to fall in love with a beautiful girl who matched my interests and values and who I felt a true spiritual connection with. If I met such a person, trust me I wouldn't ever want to let her go either.

I think you tend to attribute certain characteristics to people because you are highly judgemental but just because you think someone is such a way doesn't always make them so.

People can exhibit behaviours for any number of underlying reasons and to write someone off because they use sunbeds as being a superficial and fake person is in itself superficial and fake.

And quit it with your implications that you are a better person than me. I do indeed think you're an awesome girl and have a ton of great qualities, but your still a little way from perfection yourself.

Just remember that me and Dizaster don't come on to your blog or threads and start calling you names or telling you why we think you are a loser.

You are so full of sweeping judgements......

But as I'm not a superficial person I can look beyond that and still see your potential underneath

[Sharla]

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

[Douglas]

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are.

I don't obsess over it, I'd just like to get a little darker is all.

[Andre]

So you see my point then - worrying about having a tan enough to go to a sun bed could concievably be interpreted as worrying about something irrelevant enough to indicate some kind of inability to relax and be comfortable in who you are.

I don't obsess over it, I'd just like to get a little darker is all.

Yeah right ,come on you made this bed..